Sep 23 2009
Surviving After An Affair
September is Baby Boomer Relationship Month on midlifejourney.com
What do you do when your partner has been unfaithful?
If you are a Baby Boomer who has had the courage to enter into an honest relationship with another person, (and courage is the word to describe what it takes to let yourself be “known” on so many levels) it is devastating if you discover that your partner has been unfaithful. Today’s headlines are filled with the stories of so many people who suffer such circumstances, throw up their hands and simply walk away. It’s become almost commonplace.
But what do you do if you don’t want to walk away? How do you recover?—how does your relationship survive after an affair?
Guest Author, Bruce Merryman offers some advice.
. . . . .
Relationship Recovery After an Affair
When you first enter into a relationship with someone, every aspect of the relationship seems perfect and magical, but nothing stays the same forever. If you’re one of the lucky couples, your relationship sustains, matures, and improves over time, but the vast majority of couples experience difficulties of some type. The worst and most challenging problem to recover from is infidelity. What to do and how to deal with this issue if you want to stay with your partner is the real challenge.
The first step in recovering your relationship will be difficult because it will require that you both be honest and objective in deciding if you in fact want to recover your relationship. Infidelity causes a great deal of hurt and anger, and it may be best if you both take some time away from each other before you begin to mend anything. Through this separation you’ll both be giving each other the necessary time to re-evaluate things and clear your minds.
Infidelity is a difficult experience to recover from, and if you use this time apart wisely it will help you determine what steps must be taken to avoid going down the same path again.
Facing the challenges of recovering your relationship alone may in fact, be something that you shouldn’t do at all. You have some very serious questions that both of you are trying to deal with, and at this early stage you may not be equipped to handle them effectively. A viable solution to this problem would be to enter into couples or marriage counseling. Professional counseling can help reduce the unhelpful patterns of anger and conflict and constructively help you understand why one or both of you engaged in infidelity.
Counseling will help both of you more easily reveal the anger and frustration that led to the affair and enable both of you to find forgiveness and empathy that will ultimately begin leading you down the path of recovery. Committing to relationship counseling is one of the strongest and best signals that you can send to your partner to indicate the sincerity of your commitment to recover your relationship.
If you like what you’ve just read and would like more information related to recovering a troubled relationship, visit my blog by clicking here.
Bruce Merryman is a successfully retired contractor, who currently works as a performance level classical and solo guitarist. When not performing, he enjoys the rewarding work of teaching others to play. Bruce and his wife have been married for over 40 years, and through that long term relationship has gained some valuable insights about how to a sustain a relationship.
Over the years Bruce has known and observed many couples whose marriages or relationships failed and because of the success of his own marriage is strongly motivated to assist couples in having the same rewarding experience. For more information about relationship recovery, visit my blog by clicking here.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bruce_Merryman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Relationship-Recovery-After-an-Affair&id=2891596
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