Sep 02 2009
Relationships Mean Trouble! How to Know If You’re In The Muck From A Man’s Point of View
September is Boomer Relationship Month on midlifejourney.com
For the next twenty-nine days we are going to focus on all kinds of relationships for Baby Boomers and the wild tangents that spring from that center of interest: Romance, dating, marriage, divorce, workplace craziness, communication skills (silent and otherwise), even relationships with your best pet. We welcome your ideas and comments, and if you wish, send us an article to add your perspective on this ever fascinating topic.
On this first second of September the subject is relationship trouble: Guest author, Bob Alexander gives some very practical advice for those of you who discover your relationships are not always picture perfect.
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How to Know If You Have Relationship Trouble!
Guest Author: Bob Alexander
If you’re in a relationship, you have relationship trouble! It may not have reared its ugly head lately, but it’s there! One moment you have no clue that there is a problem and the next you’re blind sided by your spouse or significant other wanting their space.
There are volumes of books and acres of relationship training classes somewhere, but I haven’t used them. Instead I’ll draw on my experience in troublesome relationships as a basis for the following information.
Relationship trouble can slip up on a person, male or female. You may not have realized it yet, so I’ll show you some things to watch out for. I’m speaking from the male point of view, but they could just as easily be applied to the opposite sex.
Two people simply cannot co-exist without some kind of friction that bubbles to the surface when you least expect it. If you’ve reached that point, here are a few things watch out for:
You know you’re in trouble when she no longer laughs at your jokes, no matter how funny they are to you. There was probably a time when a burst of laughter showed how much she appreciated your wisdom and insight, but now all you get is a roll of her eyes. You may also get a tired look of acceptance indicating that she’s stuck with hearing the same old lame jokes.
Of course this could be an indication of a deeper problem that can only be fixed by seriously considering possible cures. Marriage counseling is always a good thing, even if only one of the participants wants to go. Many marriages have been saved when one reluctant partner is brow beaten into joining the discussion, only to find that they’re the ones who get most out of the counseling session.
You know there are serious problems in your marriage or relationship when she stops listening to the old music that meant so much to you both back when you first discovered each other. Now she’s decided that she likes rap music, something that you can’t stand.
If you think she plays it loudly just to annoy you, you’re probably right, but countering this maneuver with a country song blasting over the radio, “You’re Gonna Miss Me When I’m Gone” will not win you any points in the relationship battle. Get some help!
In most cases music is a balm to the heart, but there are exceptions. A radical departure from the status quo means there is a larger underlying situation that hasn’t been resolved. Strive to communicate again with music that you both like.
One of the great things about having a spouse or girlfriend who you really love, is the ability to share exciting things with them, even if it’s a bad joke. When that desire stops by either of the parties, it’s a really bad sign that something is amiss.
Sharing means communicating excitement in the good times and bad. If the urge to rush home and tell your spouse about something fantastic you’ve seen has gone, then you need to wake up, see if she feels the same way and then go get some help!
Bob Alexander is well experienced in outdoor cooking, fishing, leisure living and has survived a one time fling with marital discord. Bob is also the author and owner of this article. Visit his sites at:
http://www.warningsignsofabreakup.com
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