May 27 2009
Boomer Dilemma: Taking the Car Keys Away From Dad
I subscribe to a number of daily newsletters. One from this morning dealt with an issue many boomers are facing today. When is it time to take the car keys away from your elderly parent?
The writer of the article described his father as having dementia and being very difficult to deal with. The older man insisted on continuing to drive his car despite some serious accidents. “He’s a terrible driver, and I know he’s going to hurt himself and probably someone else. What can I do to get him off the road?”
As our parents grow older, occasional memory lapses are natural, but dementia is a very serious medical condition that impairs a person’s judgment. If you know that your parent is in danger of hurting themselves or others, you have no choice, you must take action.
In our family we’ve had to deal with this in a variety of ways. When my aunt of 82 went missing for an entire day because she had driven herself downtown and couldn’t find her way back, her son decided it was time to act. He wanted to treat her with respect and not dictate what she could or could not do. He tried to talk to her about it, leaving the decision to stop driving to her. But she stubbornly insisted she was fine. Knowing she would never stop unless her car was disabled, he quietly removed her car’s alternator. The next day when she went to start the car, the engine wouldn’t turn over. When she told her son about it, he put her off, saying he would get the car fixed, but of course he never did. Instead he volunteered to drive her whenever he could and arranged for the Senior Center Van to pick her up for her weekly shopping trips. Although she had lost some of her independence she was satisfied that she could still do her errands and visit her friends.
In my father’s case, we were very lucky. By the time he was in his early 80’s it was clear he should no longer be driving. One day he drove his buddies to their monthly church meeting and parked the car nearby. The car was stolen. Honest. We did not arrange the theft, but were grateful it had happened. No confrontation necessary. He decided a new car wasn’t worth the effort or money and let it all go.
In both these instances the elder parent finally came to peace with the decision not to drive. But if your parent’s driving is becoming of grave concern to you and they will not voluntarily stop taking the car, you may have to call your local motor vehicle department and report the problem. It’s not the easiest solution, but as an outside authority, they may be able to convince the older person to stop getting on the road.
You might find one of these articles helpful as well:
Taking the Keys Away
When Dad Should Stop Driving
Zune and iPod: Most men and women examine the Zune for the Contact, but soon after seeing how slim and surprisingly tiny and mild it can be, I take into account it to get a rather exceptional hybrid that combines traits of equally the Reach for along with the Nano. It’s extremely colorful and charming OLED monitor is slightly smaller than the touch filter, but the participant itself feels quite somewhat scaled-down and lighter. It weighs about 2/three or more as considerably, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, although getting just a hair thicker.
I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: present-day Zune owners that are taking into consideration an upgrade, and people seeking to choose in between a Zune and an iPod. (You will find other players really worth considering available, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this offers you plenty of info to produce an informed resolution of your Zune vs players aside from the iPod line as well.)
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Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.
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The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.
The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.
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Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.
This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.
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Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.
Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.
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