Mar 20 2009
Dancing Through Life and Change
Reflections by Christine Phoenix-Green
When you find yourself alone after partnership, there are many ways to find your way moving about as a Single. Some ways are easier or more difficult than others…and all take courage. This was my way…through Dance, and in a series of forms that fulfilled a particular need at each phase of the transition.
. . . . . .
A number of years ago, upon entering mid-life, a series of life changing issues required decisions that demanded attention and action. After the ending of a long partnership and a way of life “in tandem,” it was necessary to enter an also seemingly long period of personal healing and the crafting of social behaviour comfortably as a solo woman in a world of couples.
Some women at that time feel so lonely and befuddled, that they are hungry to find a relationship as soon as possible, and at any cost, to not feel isolated and “odd” while surrounded by couples. Others, perhaps those of us who initiated our leap to single-status, desire a conscious time to experience the taste of freedom and listen deeply, without distraction and compromise, to where our Soul and individual unique story may be leading us.
Yet feeling alone during times of transition is a human experience we all know, whether “together” or “single,” and feeling isolated is probably one of the most devastating heartaches we might be asked to bear in a variety of circumstances. It is thus important to find a way to be in some form of community during this unfamiliar time of getting to know your new and emerging self after years of being partially defined by a relationship. For me, that avenue opened through participating in Dance, in a series of forms, during that time of transition and “re-creation.” Dance was a most life-giving, healing and creatively engaging form of initiation into authentic individuality as well as learning a new way to experience Community.
Initially, I needed the safety and comfort of sisterhood. Having left a long term embrace with the masculine, I desired deeply to experience an exchange of stories, play, and wisdom in a community of women. At mid-life I also needed to meet my “mid-life” body which had a different shape and presentation than the svelte 106 lb Twiggy of my 20’s! I needed exercise (I hate the gym) and it needed to be beautiful and sensuous because another word for “Rubinesque,” admittedly in another era, was “sensuous.”
Fortunately I found a gorgeous group of women and a delightfully playful, enthusiastic and passionate teacher of Middle-Eastern Dance and in that year, we learned movements, expressions and mischief that every woman knows if she is encouraged to find it within herself, no matter what her size or shape. We learned to “isolate” parts of our body muscles to communicate all manner of playfullness and elegant invitation, we danced with coloured scarves and veils (hiding mischievously behind them and learning the art of peeking and flirting), and we learned to move our bodies gracefully as representatives of the Goddess.
Clothed in long skirts and mysterious tops, with bangles, dangling earrings and jingling coin belts on our hips, we learned dances that moved so slow and hypnotically that we could have been mistaken for statues of the Divine Feminine at the entrance to an ancient Indian temple. And lest you entertain the secular notion that what we were preparing for was to jump out of a giant cake in surprise fashion at some masculine rite of passage, the purpose of this Dance form traditionally was for the Feminine, about the Feminine, and in celebration of the Feminine in the company of women and families. In this dance form, we learned to hold our heads high with pride and authority as Women, whether married, partnered or single. We came home to ourselves.
After about a year of this wonderful experience of exercise and self-expression, I attended a Christmas caroling party at which was performed an elegant English Country Dance. The women, graceful in long off-the- shoulder gowns, and the gentlemen costumed in the colonial period style, captured my attention and my love of theater. The music was beautiful, historical, semi-classical and textured, and the dancers, in line formation, wove gracefully in and out of their positions and lines in beautiful patterns, fingertips touching, bowing, honouring, smiling and eyes full of flirting fun. I knew then, that it was time to move from dancing only with women to the pleasure of mixed company.
I, at that time still not quite ready to go out seeking a new relationship yet wanting to “test the field” in a way that was comfortable for me, found the playful and lighthearted spirit and the changing of partners at each new dance (whether you come as a single or as a couple) a way to make many new friendly acquaintances and feel like part of a community of lively and kind-hearted people. For a single person, man or woman, the English Country Dance evening is a warm, creative and inviting experience, full of great instruction, beauty, laughter, good snacks, new friends and aquaintances, and the delight of re-creating an artistic form that is part of history and a by-gone perceived romantic era.
Many of the dances are from the late Renaissance through the Colonial Period, when courtesy and good manners were valued in social interactions, and for some odd reason, many participants in this form of dance seem to be artists, musicians, writers, and gardeners, so there are many interesting conversations to pursue!
In our dance society there are no “wallflowers”! Newcomers are scooped up, encouraged and moved around throughout the evening to dance with experienced members, assuring them that everyone can learn and participate. For myself, this dance form was a wonderful middle step in finding an activity that provided gracious socializing as a single that was safe, fun and inclusive, without a heavy focus on the “dating scene” (although romances CAN blossom here!)
About a year into this dance form, my adventurous multi-talented dance friends invited me to come to an evening with the Irish Set Dancers. Who does not love lively and wildly joyful Celtic music? My introductory evening of this vigorous, life-filled expression of the Irish culture (an engaging mix of the sacred and pagan together,) found me making a vow to dance FOREVER no matter what my status!
With the wonderful instruction by our fabulous teachers, Pat and Barry Callahan, and with the most energetic participation of the couples who whirled, jigged, polka’d, waltzed, and hornpipe’d within a squared set of 8 dancers, we learned enthusiastically, practiced with dedication, and enjoyed with abandon, the traditional dances of the various counties of Ireland, each with their own patterns, speed and energy requirements, and often performed in the small quarters of the local pub on a social evening. More vigorous than English Country Dance, which may produce a faint blush on the cheeks, a complete Irish set dance with 4-6 distinct parts of whirling and movement is a complete cardio, producing high pink colour and beads of moisture! And what a delight to be, even as a still single woman, in the company of happy, long-term married and partnered couples who have obviously found the secret to happiness by dancing together on a regular basis! They modeled for me the sometimes forgotten delights of loving and playing together in such a simple pleasure as this dance within a core community, and under the warm umbrella of their mutual love and and sense of family and kin, I came to know that there is a place of welcoming, inclusion, belonging and comfort in these evenings and events together.
Someone once asked me what the difference was between English Country dance, and Irish Set dancing. My observation was that the English dancers outrageously flirt and smile a lot, but the touching of fingertips, and arming is about as close physically as one gets with all that English reserve. But the Irish…well..they do all that swinging, waltzing and horn-piping in a rather close and intimate physical embrace …but traditionally no one looks at each other !!! … (too much temptation?) In these happy evenings with happy partners I have recognized within myself that the time is now right to be open once again to the the delight of romance when it comes to surprise me! And for sure, he will have to be a dancer, himself!
In all, for me these 3 forms of dance expression have been a wonderful opportunity to enjoy the company of myself, the company of nice men, and the wonderful community of interesting and friendly people of all ages out for an evening of exercise, play and social interaction. And whether you are single or partnered, male or female, a student, a parent or a grandparent there will be a welcoming place for you on a variety of dance floors bringing people together in simple but lovely Community, which is probably one of the most precious gifts we can experience through all the changes, challenges and celebrations of our Lives!
Christine is a practicing Spiritual Director, INSIGHT Intuitive Guidance Practitioner, Dreamguide, and Music/Piano Teacher. She dances with the Kingston English Country Dancers throughout the year, and with Pat and Barry Callahan’s Irish Set Dancers every Monday night. For more information he can be reached at cphoenixrising@earthlink.net
Buy a banner and also promote your Twitter account into it.
Oh my goodness! a tremendous article dude. Thanks Nonetheless I’m experiencing subject with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting equivalent rss downside? Anybody who knows kindly respond. Thnkx
Definitely, exactly what a magnificent site and instructive reviews, I without doubt may bookmark your specific internet site.Every one of the Best!
Thanks, You probably haven’t supposed to accomplish that, however I believe you have was able to express the mind-set that lots of people are actually in.
For Advanced First Grade Students and noob site owners, a question: What will the next Google update do to your site? Answer coming up!
Hi, I adore your weblog. Is there some thing I can do to receive updates like a subscription or something? I am sorry I am not familiar with RSS?
Many thanks for taking the time to write this post. It’s been quite helpful. It could not have arrive at a much better time for me!
Hello there, I adore your weblog. Is there something I can do to obtain updates like a subscription or something? I am sorry I am not acquainted with RSS?
This weblog is great. There’s often all of the suitable data at the hints of my fingers. Many thanks and keep up the very good work!
XSitePro Version 2 from Intellimon is the latest release of an extremely powerful, yet straightforward software package that is used in website creation, website management, search engine optimisation and website marketing.
By degrees theres a peon, mannerless, sir. First off confronting our dousing. So much sought-after in the seam of bias.
This weblog is great. There is often all of the correct information and facts in the guidelines of my fingers. Many thanks and keep up the good work! http://barbeddevil909.xanga.com/755521179/how-you...
This blog is terrific. There is usually all the appropriate information and facts in the ideas of my fingers. Thank you and keep up the very good work! http://roderigo168.insanejournal.com/1358.html
Make sure the shed plans have not been filtered by your email client(ex: outlook, outlook express, lotus notes) as spam.
You made some decent points there. I did a search on the subject and found most individuals will approve with your site.
Thanks for each of your efforts on this web site. Ellie delights in participating in investigation and it is obvious why. We all know all of the lively mode you convey advantageous strategies via this web site and as well as cause contribution from visitors on this matter and our own daughter is really being taught so much. Enjoy the rest of the new year. You’re the one performing a very good job.
Video games typically use additional means of providing interactivity and information to the player.
I really like looking at and I believe this website midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change got some genuinely utilitarian stuff on it!
I started playing restaurant when I was 6 years old handing out little menus to my family. All I knew how to cook was eggs but to me it was so much fun.
I wish to show some appreciation to the writer just for rescuing me from such a matter. Right after browsing throughout the the web and getting basics that were not helpful, I was thinking my life was over. Existing devoid of the strategies to the issues you have resolved all through your main write-up is a serious case, as well as the kind which might have adversely affected my entire career if I hadn’t come across your web blog. That talents and kindness in controlling every aspect was crucial. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t come upon such a step like this. I can at this point relish my future. Thanks a lot very much for this specialized and effective help. I won’t be reluctant to propose your web blog to anyone who would like guidance on this issue.
Thank you for the auspicious writeup midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change It in truth was a amusement account it. Glance advanced to far delivered agreeable from you! By the way, how could we keep up a correspondence?
Some genuinely quality blog posts on this website , saved to fav.
I believe this site has very good composed content material posts.
I have been checking out some of your stories and it’s pretty good stuff. I will make sure to bookmark your website.
Pretty great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to mention that I have truly loved surfing around your weblog posts. After all I will be subscribing on your feed and I’m hoping you write once more soon!
Unquestionably imagine that that you stated. Your favorite reason appeared to be on the net the easiest thing to take note of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed whilst other folks consider worries that they just don’t realize about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the highest and also outlined out the entire thing without having side-effects , other people can take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thank you!
I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You are incredible! Thanks!
I am often to blogging and i really respect your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your site and maintain checking for new information.
I don’t unremarkably comment but I gotta admit regards for the post on this perfect one
.
I like the helpful info you provide in your articles. I will bookmark your blog and check again here frequently. I’m quite sure I will learn a lot of new stuff right here! Good luck for the next!
I wanted to visit and let you know how , very much I cherished discovering your web blog today. I would consider it a honor to work at my place of work and be able to use the tips provided on your web-site and also be a part of visitors’ opinions like this. Should a position of guest author become available at your end, make sure you let me know.
My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find almost all of your post’s to be exactly what I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content for yourself? I wouldn’t mind writing a post or elaborating on some of the subjects you write with regards to here. Again, awesome website!
I love your website.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this site yourself or did you hire somebody to do it for you? Plz reply back as I’m looking to create my own website and would like to know where u got this from. thank you
I had this page saved some time before but my PC crashed. I have since gotten a new one and it took me a while to come across this! I also in fact like the design though.
Some tips i have always told individuals is that when evaluating a good online electronics retail outlet, there are a few issues that you have to remember to consider. First and foremost, you should make sure to find a reputable and in addition, reliable retailer that has obtained great critiques and ratings from other people and industry advisors. This will ensure that you are getting along with a well-known store that can offer good assistance and assistance to it’s patrons. Many thanks for sharing your notions on this site.
Kitchen cabinets Sydney enhance the appeal of a kitchen.
As I said, I build mini-sites and earn from affiliate programs. Applying SEO strategies, your website needs to be built in a certain way. You need to pay attention to a lot of details, from having clean HTML code, layout structure, navigation menu, all the way to the look and feel of the website itself.
Thanks, You haven’t supposed to do so, however I believe you have got were able to express the mind-set that lots of persons are currently in.
Definitely, exactly what a grand weblog and instructive content, I without doubt would bookmark one’s internet site.Every one of the Best!
Many thanks behavior the quality to debate all of this, I kinds feel fiercely around it and enjoy discovering many within this market.I actually have site around this best texas hold em rakeback If possible, since you reap experience, do you find adjust weblog by using much information? It truly is highly beneficial for me.
Please, could you PM me and inform me few more is concerned with this approach,
Many thanks one’s marvelous blog submitting! I seriously loved analyzing it, you actually are a good author.I’ll confirm that I bookmark your wordpress blog and will return within the foreseeable years to come. I get the urge to encourage continue your particular fantastic position, have got a fine day time!
Hi there! I just wish to give an enormous thumbs up for the good information you’ve right here on this post. I shall be coming once more to your blog for extra soon.
Good internet site! I truly enjoy how it’s simple on my eyes and the data are properly written. I am wondering how I may be notified whenever a new post has been created. I have subscribed to your RSS which ought to do the trick! Have a fantastic day!
midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change I was recommended this website by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty. You’re wonderful! Thanks! your article about midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change Best Regards Craig Nick
Great post. Thank you.
I got what you impart, thanks for swing up. Woh I am glad to feel this website finished google. Thanks For Share midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change.
Many thanks a whole lot for delivering everyone incredibly marvellous chance to learn to read vital critiques from here. It’s always so amazing plus stuffed with fun for most people personally and my office peers on the job to search your particular web site for a lowest thrice within a week to learn from the new stuff you can have. And of course, I’m just always pleased of the striking pointers everybody provide. Preferred 2 pointers in this put up are really the foremost amazing I’ve ever endured
midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change I was recommended this website by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You’re incredible! Thanks! your article about midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change Best Regards Agata Schaad
tory burch norah satchel handbags
midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem. You are incredible! Thanks! your article about midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change Best Regards Cassetta Agata
Tag Heuer Grand Carrera Calibre 17
I’m really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to see a great blog like this one these days..
Wonderful goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely magnificent. I really like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it smart. I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is actually a wonderful site.
Wonderful goods from you, man. midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you are just too excellent. I actually like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you’re stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still care for to keep it smart. I cant wait to read far more from you. This is actually a tremendous midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change informations.
Undeniably believe that which you stated. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the web the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people consider worries that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks
Wonderful goods from you, man. midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you are just too fantastic. I really like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it smart. I cant wait to read much more from you. This is really a wonderful midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change informations.
Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful blog. A fantastic read. I will certainly be back.
midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You’re incredible! Thanks! your article about midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change Best Regards Justin Yoder
midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem. You’re amazing! Thanks! your article about midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change Best Regards Yoder Nick
Definitely believe that which you said. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the web the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get irked while people consider worries that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks
Just want to say your article is as surprising. The clarity in your post is simply excellent and i could assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the rewarding work.
midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change I was suggested this website by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are incredible! Thanks! your article about midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change Best Regards Cassetta Cindy
Excellent goods from you, man. midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change I have understand your stuff previous to and you’re just extremely fantastic. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you are saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still care for to keep it wise. I can’t wait to read much more from you. This is really a great midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change informations.
midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem. You’re wonderful! Thanks! your article about midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change Best Regards Shane Cassetta
midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You’re wonderful! Thanks! your article about midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change Best Regards Justin Lisa
I got what you mean, thanks for putting up. Woh I am gladsome to hear this website finished google. Thanks For Share midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change.
Just about all of what you state happens to be supprisingly appropriate and it makes me ponder the reason why I had not looked at this in this light previously. This particular piece truly did turn the light on for me personally as far as this subject matter goes. Nonetheless at this time there is actually one particular issue I am not necessarily too comfy with and whilst I try to reconcile that with the actual central theme of the issue, let me see exactly what all the rest of the visitors have to say.Very well done.
I got what you will, thanks for putting up. Woh I am cheerful to hear this website finished google. Thanks For Share midlifejourney.com » Dancing Through Life and Change.
It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or tips. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read more things about it!