Mar 04 2009
#3 Essential Tip for Boomer Online Dating
The Boomer Generation is faced with hundreds of options when it comes to meeting that right relationship. Online dating is one road to romance you may want to try. But don’t wade in those waters unprepared. This is the third in a series of five posts: we offer some essential tips for the Boomer looking for an on-line relationship. - P. Mullaly, Editor
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Single Dating For Boomers – I Am Hot 50 And Single
By Patsy Copus
She came home from work one day to find that her husband had come home, packed all of his belongings and left her a Dear Jane letter. It read “Sorry, I could not live a double life anymore. I have wanted to tell you for a long time, so here it goes I am GAY” Those words hit her like a ton of bricks. She has children, one in College the other in University, how was she going to tell them that their father was Gay. Then after this realization, she started to think about how many partners her husband had and if he had practiced safe sex. Well this story was three years ago, a long emotional road. But now she is ready to take on the world and find a new partner. Her friends at work told her to start looking for online dating services that catered for older women. So you signed up for several online dating services and felt so intimidated as you found it so hard to think of something good to write about herself. She did not want to come off as a bitter and twisted woman, she did not want to bore men and say that she loved to knit or sit around and watch t.v. So she turned to a dating service that helped her build a great profile.
Jane is just one of the thousands of women every day that find themselves single after many years of marriage. Her vision of a perfect partner has changed, what she is looking for as a 50 year old woman is a lot different from what she was looking for when she was 21 when she got married. So, she thought of the most important “wants” and went from there. She definitely wanted a non smoker (she quit 15 years ago), someone who enjoys travelling, likes cottage life, and has a decent job that they love. She did not want to hear from someone who continually moaned about their job. Her children helped her describe herself as that is the hard part, and her friends added their two cents worth too. Then she posted her profile and waited.
Several days later the responses came in. Some of the men responded with “Hello Dear, your profile looks good here is my email send me a message” The first thing she thought was, who are you calling Dear, and why would I send you a message back you have not said anything? Another email said check out my profile and if you like it reply back. She went to look at his profile and there was no photo!! So she changed her own profile to say, please do not respond unless you have a photo, I do not like blind dating. The man responded back and said that he was a well known person in the community and would prefer not to post his photo. Jane wrote back and said she considered herself a well known person too, but she did not walk around every day with a paper bag over her head. On to the next reply, the man gave his telephone number and said call me between the hours of 5:00 and 7:00 p.m.. Jane did not have to think too long on this one. Who in their right mind would give up their telephone number after the first email, and why the limitations on the time to call? These were just some of the emails that Jane did not like, but she got many more that will be part of a another article.
So when you are posting a dating profile, or responding to one. Put a lot of thought into posting your profile. Get some advice from friends, get them to read it. And take some tips from Jane when you are replying to an ad.
- Women want to gradually get to know you through email. Do not give your cell phone or home number, that will come later.
- You have to have a photo. Your profile will not get noticed without one, no one likes blind dating
- Please include some information in your profile, this is like a resume. Would you tell a potential employer if he wants more information to ask??
- Do not use words like Dear, Honey, babe some of these words put some women off.
- If they say they are a non smoker, don’t reply and say you are trying to quit.
- Guys, do not be so critical of yourself. I have stories to tell you about women who LOVE guys that are bald, short, fat or have gray hair
For those of you who have not tried online dating, I only have ONE question, and that is WHY??
Patsy Copus, Life and Relationship Consultant
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