Jan
30
2008
This morning I was watching the second half hour of the Today Show. Focus on happiness in life and the middle year slump we all fall into. Seems there is a lot of research that focuses on happiness. Check it out here.Our happiest years are when we are young (before 30) and when we are old-er (after 60ish). We are either full of hope and promise with great dreams, or as we move into those later years, we become satisfied that what we have is ok. It’s those #$%@ middle years, when reality sets in and we know that those dreams we held so dear are unlikely to come true, that we enter the slump. And we stay there for years!!!!
Our bodies begin to change, relationships change, work changes, life changes… We drag ourselves around until finally, when it is clear that nothing is going to ever stay the same, or bring us back to those happy days of youth, we finally resign ourselves to reality, look around and say “This actually isn’t so bad.” that we snap out of it and become happy again.Well, do I buy this? I’m thinking about it.
Jan
29
2008
I’m not ready to start the money stream… still have quite a few working years ahead… but I was really interested in the Scott Burns Q&A column in the Boston Sunday Globe this past week.
Confusion reigns when it comes to this whole issue. How do I plan for this benefit? Which age should I begin to draw down?
In his column Scott focuses on tips to calculate SS Benefits and mentions using a calculator that will help you plan. Find the entire article at AssetBuilder.com.
If you want to go directly to the calculator, here’s the direct link: http://www.ssa.gov/planners/calculators.htm
Jan
28
2008
One thing about hitting middle age… and trust me, we are all going to hit it, pass it, yearn for it to return some day…. You have to stay healthy.
Winter in New England where I live can be a beast. Cold, raw wind, rain, misery… I am not a winter fan and never learned to ski or skate. I long for the warm of summer days.
But in the meantime… staying healthy in miserable conditions means: fruit and vegetables. It’s a great time for those Clementines… you see them in all the supermarkets… small little globes of vitamin C, packed precisely in a neat little wrapping. Try some. Build up your resistance to the inevitable influenza.
If you are like me, you are longing for the return of the golf season.
Jan
20
2008
- Phyllis Goldberg
As your kidults begin to pack up for college, does the thought of creating a more grown-up nest sound good? Can you visualize more simplicity and less chaos? Think about what it would be like to clean out the drawers, give away the memorabilia your kids don’t want, get rid of all the stuff they’re outgrown and make your home yours again.
If you decide to make a change, it will be an ongoing process filled with both positive and negative emotions. This transition signifies the end of an important chapter in your life – the house full of family and activity, of growing children and all their antics. You may mourn the loss of many things, material and otherwise – valuable pieces of history relegated to the attic or sold for some ridiculous price, the hard discs of your past life, memories triggered by stuff. Yet, you’ll grow to feel content, surrounded by what is most important to you – perhaps the photo albums that trace your family history, souvenirs from your travels or your treasured books – and all the precious memories that you carry around in your head.
Soon, you may find yourself anticipating the changes and getting excited about making a fresh start. Altering your surroundings at home can stimulate you to modify your outlook on life. This shift can give you the impetus to explore new areas and discover adventures outside your familiarity. As you consider feathering a nest that works for you, here are some ideas to help get you started. Remember that any process takes time and, by definition, involves flexibility.
- It is never too early – or too late – to begin gathering information about the changes you plan to initiate. What do you need to learn more about? Speak to as many people as possible who have already explored or gone through this experience. Surf the net and be on the lookout for books you can read or seminars you can take to learn more. Talk to anyone who is in a position to inform, educate and help you.
- As the Greek sages told us centuries ago, know thyself. Increase your self awareness by examining who you are now and who you want to become. Are your old dreams still meaningful to you? What else are you committed to now? What ‘contracts’ have you made with yourself or your significant other that impact your choices today? Now that you do not have the daily responsibilities of 24 hour, hands-on parenting, will you have more time for yourself? Do you expect to work, play, volunteer, or continue to explore your options? Keeping a journal will provide some structure as you brainstorm, set new goals and put your plans in motion.
- Once you have created the dream, let your priorities determine what is realistic. Are you alone in making the decision? Is this change financially feasible? Are there work or personal issues to take into consideration? Are there others in your household whose needs you will consider?
- Understand that emotional reactions at times of transition are both common and normal. Allow yourself to express and accept your feelings as they emerge. Although you may regret what you have given away, you will also feel relieved about less clutter. Perhaps you will vacillate between enthusiasm about how your new digs reflect the current you and sadness about what you have left behind. Your interest in exploring new opportunities may fluctuate with your fears of the unknown.
As you begin feathering your grown-up nest, be mindful of what you need. Have confidence in yourself and trust that you will maintain in your life what is truly meaningful. While drawing from past experiences, traditions and values, you will create a present for yourself that is rich and rewarding.
(C) 2007, Her Mentor Center
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About the Author: Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. is the founder of http://www.HerMentorCenter.com, a website for midlife women and http://www.NourishingRelationships.Blogspot.com, a blog for the Sandwich Generation. She is the author of a forthcoming book about Baby Boomers and family relationships. She offers a free newsletter Stepping Stones.
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Jan
16
2008
- Kathy Ekdahl, CSCS, ACE Certified Personal Trainer
Personal Best Personal Training
New Year’s has come and gone and I for one am glad! It marks the end of the gluttony of the holiday season, and the beginning of a great time to “restart” and recharge. Many of us will make health and fitness resolutions this time of year, but will those resolutions really stick? Historically speaking, research tells us no: that 60% of us will forget about our exercise plans by April. Can we beat this sad statistic? I believe we can, but only if we work on our internal “mindset” BEFORE we begin to work on outside physical changes. We all have an internal tape that plays constantly, often words we have heard as a child, or words created and echoed by past failures or setbacks. We must change this negative mindset into a positive one- we must “spin” things in a way to convince ourselves that we are strong, we can override a bad day, even a bad week, with healthy choices, and that exercise and eating well are a joy, not a burden.
For example:
- If your internal tape says “I’m so tired, I do not have energy to exercise” spin this to “I’m a bit fatigued from my day, but exercise will make me feel energized. I can’t wait to get on my treadmill!”
- If your internal tape says “I only have 20 minutes to exercise, It’s not worth it” change that tape to say “ I’m going to use these 20 minutes to get a little exercise in- something is better than nothing! I’ll feel so much better afterward!”
- If your internal tape says “I must go on a diet, I can’t be trusted to make choices for myself” change that tape to “I am looking forward to learning to eat well and trust myself. I don’t need to deprive myself. No one is perfect. If I can make small changes every day, this will make a big difference.”
- If your internal tape says “I hate salads, what I really need is French fries!” change that mindset to “Salad is really healthy for me, and I need my vegetables. French fries won’t give me the healthy vitamins and minerals I need today.”
Exercise adherence and nutritional success is 80% mental. What separates those who succeed and those who fail, are those who do the “internal’ work first. Start today- make a list of all the negative things you may usually say to yourself, and change them to positive thoughts. Keep that list near and read and repeat the mantra when needed. It makes a huge difference!
Visit the Personal Best Personal Training web site.
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