midlifejourney.com

If you are like so many single midlifers, you have friends who try to “fix you up.” They know someone who would be just perfect for you. Sick of staying home alone most nights, you reluctantly agree to meet this “perfect match.”

Being open to new relationships is a full time job. We are busy with career, education, maybe kids, parents, or who knows which relative or friend who needs our assistance. To keep all that in the air and at the same time start a new relationship takes energy. And often we just don’t have it. Or care. But our friends do. They want us to be happy. To be with someone special. To have a partner in our lives.

So you go on the date, or agree to meet this new somebody. And you know almost instantly. Electricity or not? Spark or not? Any chance or not? You don’t know how you know, but you know. Your friends won’t see it happen, most likely. And they will wonder why you don’t give this new “somebody” a second chance. And you can’t explain it except to say “there’s no there, there.”

And it’s ok, because you still have this career, and education, and maybe kids, or parents, or who knows which relative who needs your assistance. And if the right partner is “out there” you’ll find ‘em. And there will be electricity.

What is it about us that loves to root for “the Team”— our Team, that is.

All through early school, high school, college, there was a team to root for. Now, in midlife, there is the local team, the national team or the american league team. No matter in which part of the country you live, there is a team to support.
We buy sweatshirts, tee shirts, hats, bumper stickers, anything that has the team logo well displayed—as if we were a member of the team. And I guess we are.

We all live vicariously through others. We might not be able to pitch a baseball like Curt Schilling, but we support him when he does. Tom Brady can throw touchdown passes all day long, and each one of them carries a little bit of our own hope to make it work.

It’s an interesting phenom of growing older. We carry the hopes and dreams of our early years with us. And though our bodies can’t respond as well as we might wish them to, our minds and hearts are carried on by the team we love.

It’s very easy to make excuses to not exercise. Busy lives make for busy schedules, and everyone and everything can take priority over your own need for good health. And you think you always have tomorrow to start that diet, to start that exercise routine.

But there will come a point where the clock is actually ticking… and the pounds have piled on. The effort to take them off becomes even more daunting. Your age is only one factor. Your attitude is another.

Check out the TV show Biggest Loser. Men and women of a variety of ages and backgrounds compete to lose unwanted pounds, shape their bodies, and recover a healthy self-esteem. Those in midlife have to work extra hard.

An additional reason to get going with some exercise routine is flexibility. As you grow older, bones and muscles do not respond they way they used to. Even touching your toes might put a strain on muscles you seldom stretch.

Consider your day, pick a time, and think of yourself and your health first. Then you can take care of all those others who want your life’s energy.

When we are children, we generally follow the dictates of our parents and go to the church of their choice. For many, this works out just fine. The faith of our fathers and becomes our faith and we grow into it without question as we mature.

For others, this early choice seems flawed, or, if there was no choice at all, no formal faith to follow, we find ourselves looking for our own direction to God, or not, as we grow up.

If and when you have children, the question of faith becomes more important. Something about having the responsibility of bringing children into this world causes parents to seek for something beyond them. Religious practice and faith often meet this need.

Ultimately, it is a very personal decision, shaped by the lives we lead, the people we encounter and the speed at which we live. Sometimes the choice to believe is pressed upon us by circumstances beyond our control. In any event, one day the choice is yours to make, and make again every time you open your eyes and take a breath.

Late November, and our thoughts turn to family and friends, those who have supported us throughout the year, and if we have a business, we think of clients who have given us their trust. And we are thankful for all we have been given.

Standing in midlife, somewhere between the crazy years of youth, and the inevitable years of being fabulously wise… we have the unique opportunity of observing both ends of whatever spectrum of life we have been given. It’s at times like this it is best to just stop and take note of how lucky we are to live where we do.

Such times of reflection make me realize — it really is luck that placed me in a country at a certain time and place where I am very unlikely to have a bomb or rocket come at me, a tsunami hit the shore, or poisons to get into my drinking water. I don’t deserve the peace I enjoy. It has been given. And I am very grateful. So enjoy the season of thanksgiving. Eat well, party well.

By the weekend, the holiday will be over, and we will be back to the daily grind of living our lives.

To that end, you might find these articles helpful.

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