midlifejourney.com

I have a friend, a baby boomer, who loves to play online poker at one of the many online poker websites. His favorite: PokerStars.com. Texas Holdem is his game. And he’s very good. Wins good money. He spends much of his weekends playing free poker online, watching the stars of the World Series Poker play at full tilt. I don’t play poker, but I am fascinated by its popularity, especially among the 20+ crowd who are winning millions of dollars every day, either online or at live poker events. They play against poker professionals twice their age, with decades of experience, and often, come out on top. It begs the question, can a Baby Boomer succeed at online or live poker? What’s turned these young poker players into poker wizards?

While searching for the answer, I came across a book published a couple of years ago, which I think has stumbled onto one explanation: Gadgets, Games and Gizomos for Learning. (Book is available at amazon.com). According to author Karl M. Kapp, it all has to do with video gaming! and the learning experience of those who play them. A short excerpt captures the essence of his explanation:

…I found myself watching a televised poker tournament at 2:00 A.M. Through half-open eyes, I noticed twenty-one year olds playing against fifty-five year olds, the grand masters of poker, and winning. How could that be? Why were these young guys, kids really, winning? How could they hold their own against such experienced and knowledgeable players?

Then the announcer, as if reading my mind, provided the answer: “One of the reasons relatively unknown poker players can defeat thirty-year poker veterans is because of online poker.” What? Did I hear him correctly: online poker? What do you mean? How is that like “real” poker? …

…The announcer explained that online poker allows a gambler to play as many as eight hands at once against unseen but real opponents. The experience of playing so many hands over and over again while receiving almost instant feedback on good or bad bluffs allows twenty-one year olds to gain as much experience in two years as someone who has been playing poker all his life.

Wow! It hit me. Maybe this generation of kids, my kids, my gamer kids, has a different expectation for learning, an expectation for learning, an expectation built on a framework of video games providing instant feedback and constant interaction. A framework augmented by constant access to gadgets and a comfort level with thechonology that boomers and Generation Xers can only imagine.

Do baby boomers have a chance against these poker wizards? Can they even catch up? I don’t know. It takes a great deal of online playing experience—a serious time commitment most boomers just can’t afford.

The Boomer Generation is online BIG TIME. But can they keep up with the technology? Better yet, can they succeed in this highly competitive world of the online community?

If you are Baby Boomer somewhere in the midlife of your years on the planet, you’ve already lived through some pretty major technological advances. Remember 33 LPs? (They are actually coming back as highly prized collector’s items.) Remember the 8-track? Cassettes?…Boom Boxes? (They’re really big now, as well.)

ipods, iPhones, iMacs, Blackberries, Strawberries, Blueberries?—blogging, tweeting— they are just the next variation on what we already have experienced.

So can Boomers do well in this world of hi speed internet? Absolutely. You just have to decide where and how, and in which direction to put your focus. Wisdom and discernment are called for. You can’t grab hold and join every band wagon that comes down the pike. But you can succeed, and do it well, if you find your niche and really work it.

In the last few months the editors of midlifejourney.com have encountered a number of very successful Baby Boomers who are making second or third careers online by blogging, offering membership sites, creating affiliate sites or even joining online sites where they can do very well playing poker.

Here are a few of the successful boomers we have been following:

Jeff Herring who is a master and teacher of internet article marketing.

Stephen Beck who teaches online courses in webinars and membership sites.

Cathy Perkins, the WordPress Wizard.

Dotsie Bregel, founder of BoomerWomenSpeak.com and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.

There are dozens of other Boomers doing well online. During the next week we will be reviewing the Best of the Baby Boomer Blogs and exploring the question of what it takes to succeed online. Check back.

It’s about this time of life — the middle — that many in the Boomer Generation take stock of their lives, try to focus on what’s happened so far, and begin to consider future possibilities with a certain wisdom that only comes from lived experience. These are the years of midlife memoirs: writing down for yourself, or for others, something about the life you have lived and what significance it has had on who and where you are right now.

Many people journal. Short, simple thoughts, jotted on a page in a book that only the writer reads. There is no thought of publication. For those who want to share their daily musings with the world at large, blogging has become the medium of choice.

But for some, like Patricia Harman, publishing a memoir in the traditional sense (hardcover, published by a major house) is the route to go. “The Blue Cotton Gown, A Midwife’s Memoir,” is a powerful story of her life and work as a midwife in the hard scrabble world of Appalachia. The many women and families she encounters in her practice turn to her for help, and she cares for both their bodies and their spirits.

The stories she retells weave a tale of compassion where the best of self is discovered. Women dealing with life and death choices come to her for help and no matter the cost, she responds. Throughout the memoir, Harmon does not flinch from telling of her own struggles with her career, dealing with financial difficulties, doubts about the future, and her own sudden illness that threatens the medical practice that she and her husband struggle to maintain.

A compelling read! We recommend it!

- - - - -

A few years Congress passed a law that prevented most companies from using telemarketers to sell their products over the phone. Since then almost all those “during dinner time” phone calls from some XYZ Service have stopped. But calls from non-profit organizations can still get through. I just got another one this morning. I think they love to target the Boomer Generation. We’ve still got some money to spend.

It’s Sunday morning and I am watching Meet the Press. The phone rings and I answer. Immediately this young woman begins reading some pitch to me about the horrors of some strange disease — how many people get this strange disease, about how my small donation can help thousands, and how much would I like to give to their very special, one-time, very important fund-raising campaign?

Duh? First, I have no time for this. I am in the middle of waking up on a Sunday morning. I’m still on my first cup of coffee. Second, I have no clue who this person is, never heard of her very special, one-time, very important fund-raising campaign, in fact I never heard of this strange disease for which she is begging my money.

What to do? How do I respond? I have five different methods I use to respond to such unsolicited phone calls and they range from rude to total passive aggressive.

1. Say nothing and hang up. - This is good, but only for the short term. They will call again.

2. Let them talk on and on, and after their entire pitch is done tell them you can’t hear them and could they repeat the message. After they repeat the pitch, tell them you can’t hear them and ask them to repeat it again. And again, and again. (I once had a telemarketer go through their pitch five times before she got the message and hung up on me.)

3. Let them talk on - Put the phone down and walk away. - This too is good, as you don’t have to listen to the pitch, but has the potential to lock up your phone for a while.

4. When they ask for you by name, tell them you’re a relative and that the person they are calling is dead. That will at least get your name off the list.

5. But the most sensible solution is the best, and one that I use most of the time. When they start in on their pitch, stop them immediately and tell them to take your name off their call list. (By law, they have to honor your request). If you are in any way interested in the cause they are promoting, ask them to send you materials in the mail. But never, and I mean NEVER give a telemarketer any personal information such as your credit card. Remember, this is an unsolicited phone call. This person called you. You have no idea if he or she is who they say they are. They may be a legit representative of the ABC Foundation they represent, or the Police and Fire Retirement Society, but you don’t know that. You could be talking to a fifteen year old kid with a deep voice and a talent for getting people to give over their hard earned money.

My best advice: Be wise. Be careful. Be stingy with your personal information.

As a Baby Boomer trying to juggle a hundred things at once, there are days when I feel like I am running in circles, one concentric circle around another, and another. From the outside it might look as if I am accomplishing a great deal. But it’s not true.

. . . . .

When you get to the middle of your life — midlife, everything seems to start coming at you all at once. Your children are growing up and it’s time to pay for college. Your parents are getting older, and it’s time to think of them in a new way—with an eye to how you might best care for them if they need help. And then there’s the job you were counting on to last till your retirement — it is no longer satisfying and as far as money is concerned — it seems it will never grow to a level where you can feel comfortable.

How do you find balance in your life once you’ve hit the middle of your life?

Life is constantly changing and shifting, and balance can only be realized by delibrately seeking it. The simplest way to find that moment of balance is to simply stop what you are doing. Just stop. Step back from the reality you are in and take a deep breath. (Don’t worry. The world will continue for a minute or two without you.) Then close your eyes and just breathe.  As you take that deep breath, listen to the sounds around you. It doesn’t matter where you are: sitting on a park bench, standing in a grocery aisle with a push cart in your hands. Just listen for half a minute — 30 seconds. Focus your attention on the now moment in which you are living. Become aware that this stillness in the chaos of your day is a moment of balance you can savor. Just be there and appreciate the fact you are alive and well, and able to just be still. Let your shoulders drop and whatever weight you are carrying slide away for just a moment. Take another deep breath, acknowledge the possibility that life in all its complexity is essentially good — that even the chaos has value and life has a way of working itself out. One more breath, open your eyes, and continue on with whatever you were doing.

It takes a deliberate choice to create these moments of balance in your life but short as they are, moments like this can be very helpful in keeping your life from feeling as if its spinning out of control.

There are many good resources on the internet that you might find helpful in seeking balance in your life. Here are just a few.

• Women and Balance
• Mind Tools
• Center for Balanced Living

. . . . .

The Boomer Generation is faced with hundreds of options when it comes to meeting that right relationship. Online dating is one road to romance you may want to try. But don’t wade in those waters unprepared. In the next five posts we offer some essential tips for the Boomer looking for an on-line relationship. - P. Mullaly, Editor

. . . . . .

Over 50s Online Dating Advice

By David Banzius-Bell

There is a lot of material available on the internet about dating advice and an over 50s dating guide would probably be very similar to a dating guide for any age group. The world wide web (www) does bring in a few new elements to dating which make things much easier and more interesting but do require some thought.

The most important thing to get right first is to create an honest profile for yourself. This may seem obvious but it is worth giving this some consideration or even getting a friend to help you. To create the best profile for you its important that you get to know yourself. This may sound basic but it is important to ask yourself some searching questions, find out what you really like and don’t like, think about what has worked for you in past relationships and what has not, what do you find attractive, what personality types you bond with etc. This can sometime be a little emotional but it’s important to be honest with yourself. A friend can also help with an external viewpoint on some of these questions.

Once you know yourself it is important to be honest and open when creating your profile on a senior dating site, being clear about your fundamental reasons for being a member, the sort of friendship, relationship you are looking for, the type of partner you are interested. Continue Reading »

The Boomer Generation is faced with hundreds of options when it comes to meeting that right relationship. Online dating is one road to romance you may want to try. But don’t wade in those waters unprepared. This is the second in a series of five posts: we offer some essential tips for the Boomer looking for an on-line relationship. - P. Mullaly, Editor

. . . . . .

Online Profile Tip For Boomer Women - Portray Yourself As a Desirable Woman

By Ronnie Ann Ryan

Are you a busy professional? Do you have a demanding, important job that occupies most of your time and energy? You may really enjoy and have true passion for your work. But let me ask you this question: If a man wrote that he’s a busy professional with a demanding job that takes up most of his time - would you be interested? Or would you wonder if he’d even have time to date you?

Your online dating profile is ADVERTISING. Yes, I believe in truth in advertising. But do you need to slap men in the face with your truth? Uh, not if you want to attract one.

One of the foundational principles of advertising is called POSITIONING. This is the process marketers use to create an image or identity. That’s what you are doing with your profile - creating your identity as a desirable woman. The question becomes: Is busy professional with little time the best image to portray? Perhaps you have other qualities that could actually make you seem like a fun/interesting person to spend time with and get to know…

Even though you are busy, no man wants to hear that. Continue Reading »

The Boomer Generation is faced with hundreds of options when it comes to meeting that right relationship. Online dating is one road to romance you may want to try. But don’t wade in those waters unprepared. This is the third in a series of five posts: we offer some essential tips for the Boomer looking for an on-line relationship. - P. Mullaly, Editor

. . . . . .

Single Dating For Boomers - I Am Hot 50 And Single

By Patsy Copus

She came home from work one day to find that her husband had come home, packed all of his belongings and left her a Dear Jane letter. It read “Sorry, I could not live a double life anymore.  I have wanted to tell you for a long time, so here it goes I am GAY”  Those words hit her like a ton of bricks.  She has children, one in College the other in University, how was she going to tell them that their father was Gay.  Then after this realization, she started to think about how many partners her husband had and if he had practiced safe sex.  Well this story was three years ago, a long emotional road.  But now she is ready to take on the world and find a new partner.  Her friends at work told her to start looking for online dating services that catered for older women.  So you signed up for several online dating services and felt so intimidated as you found it so hard to think of something good to write about herself. She did not want to come off as a bitter and twisted woman, she did not want to bore men and say that she loved to knit or sit around and watch t.v.  Continue Reading »

The Boomer Generation is faced with hundreds of options when it comes to meeting that right relationship. Online dating is one road to romance you may want to try. But don’t wade in those waters unprepared. This is the fourth in a series of five posts: we offer some essential tips for the Boomer looking for an on-line relationship. - P. Mullaly, Editor

. . . . . .

Online Dating Method to Meet Women - 4 Tips to Get an Endless Stream of Dates With Women

By Peter Lim

It is not necessary to know why you are often alone, without the company of a woman you love. Meeting women online and offline goes beyond the difficulties of appearance, income and age. If you follow just these 4 tips I’ll share with you, I’ll promise you that you will find lots of dates, irregardless of how you look- whether you are too short, too stubby, too fat…or too old.

Tip 1: Introduce Yourself To The World

It’s all a numbers game. The more you are introduced to others, the more chances are that you will meet someone or someone will get to know you. So the first step is to go and join a Dating Search group. Create an interesting profile by telling other members and tell a little about yourself and what you’re looking for in a partner and relationship. Continue Reading »

The Boomer Generation is faced with hundreds of options when it comes to meeting that right relationship. Online dating is one road to romance you may want to try. But don’t wade in those waters unprepared. This is the fifth in a series of five posts: we offer some essential tips for the Boomer looking for an on-line relationship. - P. Mullaly, Editor

. . . . . .

Online Dating For Baby Boomers - Tips For Successful Results

By Aelicia Anderson

The landscape of the dating world has changed a lot since the time many of us first started dating. While some things are being done differently today, they don’t have to be scary. This article will share tips to make your online dating experience fun, exciting and most of all, successful.

A dating service is not a new idea; they’ve been around for several decades. What’s different about today’s dating service is the vehicle they use to connect people to one another.

There was a time when online dating was not looked on as favorably as it is today. In its infancy, online dating was sometimes seen as the only way less desirable people could get a date. That’s no longer the case. Online dating is growing rapidly, and is used by people of every age. It crosses all the lines of race, religion, political affiliation and net worth.

Even though you start out in the comfort and safety of your own home, typically the goal of online dating is to find someone you want to meet in the real world. Caution and safety are primary considerations throughout any dating process, but are particularly important where online dating is concerned.

When you begin looking for an online dating service you’ll want to look for sites that offer several screening filters to validate identification. This helps determine if the person signing up is really who they say they are.

Browse through several online dating sites before settling on one. If you do a search on Google for online dating sites, there are over 3 million. Don’t let that overwhelm you. Just pick a few and spend a few minutes on each one. You can also find review sites that may be helpful in assisting you with your decision. You may want to consider signing up with more than one site.

Be honest when creating your profile. Remember that you’re looking for someone to start a relationship with and you certainly don’t want to base it on lies and deception.  For best results, you’ll have to include a picture; uploading several would be even better. Make sure it’s a recent one, not one from years ago.

Make sure your personality shines through in your correspondence. It’s a little tougher to do online since you don’t see facial expressions and hear intonations, but with a little practice and the help of some emoticons and online shorthand, you’ll become much better at it very quickly. Of course, if you have a web cam, so much the better.

Don’t let your profile paint a boring picture. List your passions, your hobbies, your taste in food, movies, music, authors or artists. You want people to understand who you are and what you’re looking for.

You should never be uncomfortable with your dating experience. If a conversation becomes awkward or offensive, get out of it. Most sites will allow you to block members if you choose to. Don’t hesitate to use that feature to eliminate unwanted correspondence or contact from a particular member.

There’s no need to be upset or feel offended if someone you’re interested in doesn’t respond. There are way too many people to choose from to let a few no-responses discourage you. Think of them as first dates that didn’t work out and move on.

Online dating doesn’t have to end in a romantic encounter. Many people just want to keep things casual and remain friends. An online dating service can provide them the opportunity to meet people they would otherwise never have met.

Whatever your goal is in the relationship department, online dating can help you achieve it. Be safe and sensible, but most of all, have fun!

Graduating from Sydney University in 1997, Aelicia Anderson works as a consultant for the Australian adult dating site Fling Finder She enjoys writing, painting and adult personals research.

Article Source

I don’t know about you, but the economic mess in which we find ourselves today troubles me. When times are tough where do you turn for comfort? Author Christine Phoenix-Green offers some thoughts.

. . . . . 

Acts of Devotion

It is not unusual in times of upheaval and stress, that people are often forced, in their sense of instability and fear, to turn towards a sense of Mystery or Spirituality for answers and comfort in the face of the shock of the unknown. For some, it could mean going to church for community, prayer and petition, for others  visiting  a psychic for a reading, an astrologer for an update, or a  therapy group for peer support. (Some people go shopping, but that is another category entirely.)

These are all practices that may help us to make sense of, or give us perspective on, interpreting the  experiences and signs of the times that rather unpleasantly surprise and jar us almost on a daily basis, especially at this insistent moment of social and cultural upheaval. Yet, there is another practice that can emerge from the heart, from the Soul, that grounds us in the Eternal, and connects us to the sacred , mysterious,  and eternal rhythms of time and place. It is a smaller, and more intimately personal practice, and very very quiet or private. In each life and in each day, there can be a practice or stopping point to acknowledge the moment, the Now, and the Presence of Life, Beauty and Sanity through personal “Acts of Devotion.”

Continue Reading »

What is money? Is it the exchange of energy between two parties? Is money the root of all evil as many in this economic downturn will claim? Is money a gift or a burden from the “gods” deserved or not?

Let’s establish one thing right up front: money is NOT your life’s blood. It may feel like that sometimes, but it is not. Your money is not your worth. YOU, no matter whether you are rich or poor, beggarman or thief, you, yourself are NOT your money. You are far more valuable than this thing we call money. If everything were taken away from you and you were standing alone on a desert island without roof or food or companion, you would still be valuable, just because you are—because you exist. So before we begin any discussion about money understand this is the starting point. Your value as a person has NOTHING to do with the value of your bank account. Get your head around that concept before you read on. Continue Reading »

All things are relative. When it comes to money, this is especially true.

As a kid, that $10.00 allowance each week feels really great in your pocket. The sky’s the limit. You can save and buy anything you want. As a teenager, getting a job to buy and maintain a car, date your best girl and save something for college becomes the measure against which a job’s salary is  calculated.

Once you join the world’s workforce, your salary and the benefit package, savings plan, all come into focus. Being single, only responsible for yourself, you might be feeling flush. You have enough… maybe— remember all things are relative.

When you throw in marriage, kids, new car, house, education, travel… “How much is enough” becomes a whole different issue. How much money do you really need, —do you want? How much money is enough? Continue Reading »

Everytime I turn on the TV most of what I hear is bad news. The talking heads, whether on the left or right of any issue are spreading negativity 90% of the time. I’m getting very tired of listening to it all.

This morning I went for a short walk with a couple of friends. I live near the ocean so the walk was one filled with beautiful scenes of nature, salt marshes, swans and two beautiful blue herons who took flight just as we walked past. The air was crisp, the sun warm and the breeze comfortable. A good day for a walk and to share good news with each other. We all agreed it was not easy to find in the media but there were a few gems we discovered and I share them with you.

ABC news has a segment on their website: Pay it Forward, for people with means to help those without. (http://abcnews.go.com/WN/PersonOfWeek/story?id=7077296&page=1)

There is actually a website devoted to Good News! Check this out.

And finally, a website entry that helps you figure out if you are a source of good news. Take the quiz!

Good news is never hard to find if you are really looking for it. More about good energy tomorrow!

I am a member of the oprah.com community. Great site. Within the last week Oprah offered members of her website community the opportunity to download Jean Chatzky’s latest book: The Difference:How Anyone Can Prosper in Even The Toughest Times free of charge! The free download offer was only for a 24 hour period, but I was lucky enough to get a copy.

What is The Difference? I have only begun to read the book, but the introduction and first chapters give an overview of the sum and substance to follow. She posits the question: why do some people seem to succeed in life, while others seem to fail, or best scenario, just get by? What is the difference between the Warren Buffets of this world and someone who lives paycheck to paycheck, or each year finds themselves deeper in debt?What have they got that you don’t have? What is the difference?

It’s more of a workbook than a fast read. In fact Jean encourages the reader to go slowly through each chapter, in the order in which they are presented, working through each of the exercises. Her point: each of us has what it takes to succeed. Life circumstances may cause us to adapt and change, but meet each circumstance as a challenge and opportunity. Optimism and thinking with positive energy seem to be a key to this winning philosophy.

As I said, I am only just beginning the book, but already am hooked. Will be commenting further in subsequent postings. In the meantime I encourage you to purchase the book and the companion workbook as well. It is available now online through Amazon.com.

Reflections by Christine Phoenix-Green

When you find yourself alone after partnership, there are many ways to  find  your way moving about as a Single. Some ways are easier or more difficult than others…and all take courage. This was my way…through Dance, and in a series of forms that fulfilled a particular need at each  phase of the transition.

. . . . . .

A number of years ago, upon entering mid-life, a series of life changing issues required decisions that demanded attention and  action. After the ending of a long partnership and a way of life “in tandem,” it was  necessary to enter an also seemingly long period of personal healing and the crafting of social behaviour comfortably as a solo woman in a world of couples.

Some women at that time feel so lonely and befuddled, that they are hungry to find a relationship as soon as possible, and at any cost, to not feel isolated and “odd” while surrounded by couples. Others, perhaps those of us who initiated our leap to single-status, desire a conscious time to experience the taste of freedom and  listen deeply, without distraction and compromise, to where our Soul and individual unique story may be leading us.

Yet  feeling alone during times of transition is a human experience we all know, whether “together” or “single,” and feeling isolated is probably one of the most devastating heartaches we might be asked to bear in a variety of circumstances.  Continue Reading »

. . . . .
I recently went to my dermatologist for my yearly skin screening. She pokes and prods and scans every inch (I mean every inch) of my body looking for problems. Luckily nothing was found. But there are warning signs. Patches of brown just beneath the surface—what we call “age” spots, just ready to burst forth! With Irish heritage my skin is naturally fair, but like so many others I think a little “tan” makes me look more attractive, more healthy. In spite of all the warnings to the contrary I am a sun worshipper. Each spring and summer I spend hours lounging by the pool or walking the golf course, soaking in the rays.

I can’t not be in the sun. And the damage already done to my skin is —done. I can use age-defying creams and try to lighten the spots, but the damage is there. What I can do is prevent any further damage. (Oprah Winfrey recently had a number of guests on her show for skin evaluations. The results were shocking. Visit the oprah.com website for more comprehensive information.)  I’ve sampled and studied many of the products on the market today. Many promise to screen or block the sun’s damaging rays. Very few actually do the job. Continue Reading »

When her 15 year old son celebrated his birthday, Laura of RARAwithLaura.com had a major diet crisis! Has this ever happened to you?

. . . . .

“My son’s 15th birthday was yesterday.  He is at school, the hubby is  at work and I am working from home.  At 10:22 a.m today I started   eating birthday cake.  I forgot that it was there and when I opened   the refrigerator it spoke to me saying things like ” you know you   need me, want me and nobody is here except you”.  “Just have a   sliver and by the way leave the knife in here with me in case you   want to sliver all day”. I am thinking about putting the cake out   on the deck hence I bet that is how the song “McAurthur’s Park” [sic] came about!   Someone left my cake out in the rain!!!!  The best   thing that could happen for my hips right about now is that my cake   is left out in the rain and I can no longer consume it!  I want to   throw it out but my son will come home from school and ask where is   my cake?

I am going to go to the prayer chair and pray for guidance and self control!  Yes, you heard me right I am now praying about not eating all that cake!”

~ RA! RA! LAURA www.rarawithlaura.com

. . . . .

A note from the editor: Dieting can be a terrible bore. Even “Skinny Cow” deserts don’t cut it with me anymore. Best advice - enjoy the cake when you have it, just keep that single slice to a SINGLE slice. It’s all about portion control. So let go of the guilts and enjoy your dessert! ~ P. Mullaly

Creativity, Comfort, Compassion, Community for the Boomer Generation

A note from author, Christine Phoenix-Green:
“Sensuous Soups  on a Shoestring” showcases four soups—each for a different purpose. I am here on a mission and with a vision! I love soups!  I love working with food and especially the gifts of the earth and the energy of the seasons. For me, making soups is a very creative and centering activity when my life gets hectic, confused, and I need to come home to myself and my kitchen. But the older I get, the more I have realized that for me, the cooking of soup is a spiritual practice of Compassion, Comfort and Community. Recently I shared this passion for soup making at one of my workshops. Here and in the next few articles, I share some thoughts on this Sensuous Experience.

How many times I have been sick and a friend has come in with a pot of soup when I could not take care of myself and I gratefully received this blessing gift to nourish me and facilitate my healing. I have found that every time I make a big pot of wonderful soup, almost ALWAYS there is someone else in my life who is in need of support, comfort and compassion and it is such a blessing to be able to “pay it forward” by sharing some of what I have created when they are in need.

A soup is nourishing, easily digested, and takes no effort to warm up once it has been cooked. Continue Reading »

This post is part 2 of “Sensuous Soups on a Shoestring” by contributing author: Christine Phoenix Green. Click here to read Part 1.

To create a Sensuous Soup, there has to be an Intentionality to deliberately create something DELICIOUS  FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. When I cook a soup, I always have an Intentionality before I start. In other words, what is my intention or purpose here?

Sometimes it is to celebrate the gifts of the Earth by eating seasonally. It must be sensuous and enhance the particular flavour of one or more of the season’s signature ingredients. In other words, this might mean delightful trips to your local farmer’s market if you don’t have your own garden, to gather, honor, celebrate and cook your way through the wheel of the year, each period with it’s own energy and spirit. In this way, we are in tune with Nature’s rhythms, which physically, psychologically and spiritually of which we are a part.

Sometimes it is for what I call a magical or spiritual purpose, using  certain vegetables or ingredients for energetic purposes when a person is unbalanced. Continue Reading »

Had the chance to dine out a couple of times during my recent trip to Fort Myers. Two meals, two very different experiences. This post focuses on where NOT TO EAT in Fort Myers.

Parrot Key - Never Again!!!

Our visit to the Parrot Key Caribbean Grill was a dining disaster for me. It is known as a great fun time watering hole. Located on the docks, it’s set up to imitate a bar in the tropics. Open air with tables scattered about, waiters in Hawaiian style shirts rush about serving drinks and dinners. By the time we arrived, happy hour which ends at 6 pm was just over. No double drinks. But that was ok, we should have checked ahead of time. They don’t take reservations but we were lucky and got a table not far from the small stage. Entertainment was scheduled for 7 pm.

We ordered Tommy’s Cosmo Martinis and one Havana Mojito. Both good selections. But after the drinks, my dining experience went straight downhill. The Tropical Safari Calamari were undercooked, soft and mushy. I ordered the Sizzlin’ Sandbar Scallops, grilled, served in a basket with Caribbean slaw and sweet potato fries. The scallops were barely cooked, much less sizzlin, the sweet potato fries were cold and overcooked. The slaw was great. I should have asked for a large bucket of slaw and have been done with it.

My friends, on the other hand, had good meals. The Stuffed Lobster special was fine, though not the sweetest my friend had ever had, and the Gorda Grouper my second guest ordered was “really good.”

Perhaps I just lucked out with the bottom of the food barrel that night. The wait staff were ok, the entertainment which came on late, was one guy with a boom box who entertained the little kids. Not what I expected.

Would I go back? I’m sure it’s a great drinking spot, and for a wild night out with the guys, it might be just fine. But for a quiet evening and great food? Look elsewhere. I give it 2 out of 5 stars! (The slaw was good, after all.)

Click here to check out one restaurant in Fort Myers I can recommend.

Had the chance to dine out a couple of times during my recent trip to Fort Myers. Two meals, two very different experiences. This post focuses on where TO EAT in Fort Myers. Click here to see where NOT TO EAT in Fort Myers.

Eating Down Under

This dining experience was at the Outback Steakhouse, at Belle Tower in Fort Myers. We called ahead and though they don’t take reservations, this gave us “one up” on others standing in line. We were seated immediately. As we sat down, the happy hour clock was just ticking past the deadline but our waitress, Adrienne let us slip under the wire and we happily ordered double drinks all ’round. Great.

The coconut shrimp was, as always, fabulous. I’ve tried them at other restaurants, but they are never as good as Outback’s. Some secret ingredient. We ordered steaks: The Outback Special Sirloin, and two Victoria Filet. (The 7 oz was more than enough!) One of my guests ordered his, medium rare. When he discovered it was even a little too rare for his taste they took it back for a little more heat-no worries. The salads and sides were fine. Their sweet potato is always a hit. I tried the Blue Cheese Pecan Salad but was disappointed. Too much cheese for my taste. But my friends had no trouble finishing it off.

There was no way we could add a desert to the meal, but we did buy a slice of classic New York cheese cake with raspberry sauce to enjoy later that evening. Very good. I give the Outback 4 out of 5 stars!!!

. . . . .

I know the Outback is part of a nationwide franchise. But they are still a good bet for a great meal. Consistently they have served great food, great drinks in a great atmosphere. For casual dining, this restaurant is a safe bet.

Recently I was sitting at the pool, wasting time and listening to a broadcast on PRI (Public Radio International). The subject was Social Business Development. The speaker was 2006 Nobel Peace Prize winner, Muhammad Yanus of the Grameen Bank in Bangladesh. The bank has its focus on the poor and small loan programs with significant impact. I was amazed at the statistics he was discussing. 98% of the loans his bank gives out are repaid in full. They set up a personal relationship with each of their borrowers. They assist and advise each of them and follow up with support as needed. Most of the borrowers are poor women, eager to start a small business that will help them and their families get out of the grip of poverty.

Recently the bank began a program for beggars. They determined that as long as beggars were going house to house trying to get food, they might also carry along a small item for sale i.e. a toy for a child, or a small household item that might be useful. Continue Reading »

I just viewed the YouTube video of Susan Boyle, (use the link to the video at the end of this post), a nearly 48 year old woman from Scotland who recently auditioned on the Britain’s Got Talent TV Show (the inspiration for the U.S. hit show American Idol.) To look at her you would think Susan Boyle was just a common middle aged woman with crazy hair, heavy eyebrows and no fashion sense. She was wearing what can only be described as a “mother of the bride nightmare dress.”

The audience and the three judges were clearly skeptical. There were a lot of raised eyebrows, rolling of the eyes and tittering in the crowd when she was first introduced. No one expected anything much from this simple midlifer who lives with her cat Pebbles in a small town. “I’ve never been married, never been kissed,” she admitted to the crew back stage. “But I’m going to make that audience rock.” And she did.

From the moment she opened her mouth and began the first notes of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables the audience was ga ga! She has a fabulous voice and the judges knew they were witnessing something extraordinary. Unemployed before the audition, Susan Boyle is now in demand by media everywhere. She is even scheduled to be on the Oprah show!

What makes this all very miraculous is that even at the boomer age of 47-48, Susan Boyle had a dream she was willing to go for! Life has handed her some tough stuff, but she believed in what she wanted to be: a professional singer, and though it took her years to finally get her chance, she clearly believes in her talent and is making this dream come true!

Midlifers everywhere should take heart from this remarkable woman. Believe in your dreams, work to achieve them, give your self permission to succeed, grab life and GO FOR IT!

Click here to view the HD YouTube video of Susan Boyle’s audition.

My last post focused on the surprising miracle of Susan Boyle, from Britain’s Got Talent! (Click here to read.) The world is amazed at how much talent this woman has and how such a voice could remain hidden in a little village in Scotland. Surely, she should have been “discovered” years ago.

Well, let me assure you, that there is miraculous talent everywhere! It just needs a little help to get heard. Check out this audio clip I just received from one of my readers. The producers wandered the globe recording this famous song, Stand By Me, inviting local musicians to contribute their remarkable talents. It proves the point, that talent and enthusiasm for sharing it, really is without borders.

No matter who, or where we are, we are joined by the music, the song, the rhythm and the energy! Check out Playing for Change, a multi-media movement created to inspire, connect and bring peace to the world through music. I’m inspired!

Last weekend I was traveling with friends through the great state of Maine: Ogunquit, Wells, Kennebunk, that area. Enjoyed the sea air, quiet harbor (in April the tourist crowd is still not in full force) and the ocean. Even played a little golf at the par 3 at Merryland Farms, a great place to practice your short game!

By mid-afternoon we were hungry. We could have gone to one of the usual spots the tourists invade - but there is a great restaurant on Route 1 in Wells that the locals call “home.” The Maine Diner has been serving fabulous meals for 25 years. You don’t survive that long among the locals without a great reputation for delicious food and great service! Simple and unpretentious, with a counter and tables packed into two rooms, the place is famous for its prize winning chowder, generous portions and home made desserts. They have a limited wine and beer list, children’s menu and serve breakfast anytime! Prices are mid-range.

Usually the place is packed. (The tourists have, in fact, found the place and passed the word around.) We were fortunate. Although it was nearly 3 in the afternoon we were lucky to find one empty table in the main room. Continue Reading »

Boomers: How many times have you surprised yourself with something you thought you didn’t know, but you did! In midlife we sometimes begin to worry about loss of memory. How many times have you gone into a room, only to not remember why you went in there in the first place? Or where are those keys you keep losing?

Just as surprising however are all the things you do remember. It could be the name of a state capital you suddenly remembered when you and your friends were looking at travel magazines, planning your next trip to Yellowstone National Park. Who knew that Cheyenne is the Capital of Wyoming? Somewhere in the deep recesses of your brain that small factoid came out just when you needed it.

You have lots of surprises inside! Lots of wisdom. And the older you get, the more wisdom you find within. Every midlifer has stories to tell. I remember playing Trivial Pursuit with my aunt. I was in my thirties, she in her late seventies. Everyone else was in their twenties and absolutely certain they knew more than any two of us combined. We paired up and I chose my aunt as partner. Good thing to. When it came to movie stars, broadway musicals, sports teams of the mid 1900’s she was an encyclopedia! We beat the other teams, hands down. Of course if the game had been anything other than the first edition which was published back in the early 1980’s we would have been stumped.

Never underestimate how much you know, Boomers. Every day you add to your library of wisdom and knowledge. Sometimes it takes a little while to dig down and find the fact you are looking for. But that’s because there’s so much there to dig through!

The sad truth is that as we midlifers get older that little bulge of belly fat gets bigger and more stubborn with every passing year. In your twenties you could dismiss it… a passing thing, you think. With a little more exercise it’ll be gone in a day or two. But now you’re in your forties, fifties, maybe just into your sixties? The Boomer generation stretches across all three… and that “little” bulge is now a BIG bulge. When was the last time you got into those skinny jeans?

I hate exercise. I really do. I’ve got all the equipment, the clothes, the shoes, the music gizmo to keep me entertained… but I still hate exercise and find every excuse to not go to the gym. But here’s a great idea I think will satisfy. Dance it off!

Get yourself to a local class, ballroom, night club or even your living room and dance your self silly. If you don’t have a partner, go on your own. When the room is full of jiving bodies, who knows who you’re dancing with anyway? If you are staying home to dance, just juice up the music and move!!!! Do this at least once or twice a week. Drink lots of water— no alcohol, unfortunately… that just puts the pounds right back on. And enjoy! You’d be surprised how music can shake it up and sweat it off. If you really want to have fun, dress up for the occasion, wear a funny hat, pretend your “Dancing with the Stars” - don’t take yourself too seriously and just have a good time. That belly baby will move and groove to the tunes and melt away. Honest.

Remember the wild times you had back in those early boomer days? Even though you are now a true midlifer, I bet you still listen to those fabulous hit tunes from the 60’s and 70’s. Of course, it would make more sense for you if the lyrics were changed to make them a little more relevant to your current life style.:-)

Just got this listing of NEW LYRICS from a Boomer friend and couldn’t resist posting it.

Some of the artists of the 60’s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include:

• Bobby Darin — Splish, Splash, I Was Havin’ a Flash.
• Herman’s Hermits — Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker.
• Ringo Starr — I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
• The Bee Gees — - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
• Roberta Flack— The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
• Johnny Nash — I Can’t See Clearly Now.
• The Commodores — Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
• Marvin Gaye — Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
• Procol Harem— A Whiter Shade of Hair.
• Leo Sayer — You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
• The Temptations — Papa’s Got a Kidney Stone.
• Abba— Denture Queen.
• Tony Orlando — Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
• Helen Reddy — I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
• Leslie Gore— It’s My Procedure, and I’ll Cry if I want To.

And Last but NOT least….

• Willie Nelson — On the Commode Again

Hey, you’ve got to have a sense of humor, people! Enjoy.

Every woman in their 40’s wants to be more beautiful. It’s in the genes. Sudden singing sensation, Susan Boyle, is no exception. After taking the world by storm with her Britain’s Got Talent performance of I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables, the media swarmed in, surrounding her home in the village of Blackburn, West Lothian, Scotland. They asked questions, speculated about her love-life or lack thereof (she was sorry she ever mentioned having never been kissed) and captured her every move on camera and video.

Though her voice is spectacular, we can all agree that her fashion sense is very simple, perhaps a bit dowdy. Now that the nation and the world are watching her every move, it’s only natural she wants to put on her best face. Fashionistas have been calling her with advice, and designers begging that she wear their designs at her next audition. (I made that up, but if I were a designer of a 40ish woman’s clothes line, I would definitely be in there begging!)

We just heard via the web that she had her hair colored and cut, and her eyebrows trimmed. Good for her. And all done by the local village hairdresser for about $50. (A lot less than what those celeb hairstylists in London would have charged.)

So what’s the problem? If you were going to be on worldwide exposition wouldn’t you want to take your style up a notch? I certainly would. And I don’t think it will change her simple, straight talking style one whit. She’s no kid and at nearly 48 years of age she seems to have a very sensible head on her broad shoulders. She may never again live the simple life of her past, but I think her talent will bring her only good fortune and if she wants to trim her eyebrows, cut and color her hair, then good for her. I even like the new black leather jacket!

The Acai Berry is one of the hottest weight loss products on the internet right now. If you Google “weight loss” you are sure to get hit with one of the many online ads promising amazing weight loss for midlifers, within just a few short weeks.

Well, like many baby boomers, I’m overweight and have been struggling with diets for years. We all have high hopes for a magic miracle cure, and I got suckered in like so many others. With a savvy web site that mentions both Oprah and Rachel Ray in the copy, it was easy to think that these credible superstars had endorsed the product on the site.

I signed up for a 14-day trial product called AcaiPure. For only $1.95 for shipping they would send me a supply. If I wasn’t fully satisfied I could cancel at any time. If I did nothing, they would continue to ship a monthly supply and charge my credit card $39.95. (I was one of the lucky ones. Some sites charge $4.95 for shipping and charge upwards of $89 for a months supply!)

In the meantime I began to hear all sorts of nasty rumors about this company, Central Coast Nutraceuticals out of Arizona. Our local TV news station has uncovered hundreds of stories of people who have tried to cancel the “membership” and recover their money. Continue Reading »

It sounds counter intuitive, but it’s true. To lose weight you have to eat  — a lot! Of course, it has to be the right foods that increase your metabolism: grains, vegetables, fruits, nuts, berries, and less of those high calorie snack foods we both love to nibble on in the late evening hours.

I’ve read a lot of books and listened to a lot of talk shows and after all is said and done, the one thing they all say that will guarantee weight loss is consumption — keep eating — and drinking a lot of water. Don’t let yourself feel hungry.

Think of your body as a furnace. It’s burning up fuel all day long, helping your muscles work, your brain stay sharp, and your attitude stay healthy. Give it the right fuel and you’ll have energy to do all the things you want to do. Give it the wrong kind of fuel filled with sugars and fats and you’ll clog the pipes, reduce the energy output and make yourself sick.

It’s all a question of balance. Find the rhythm of meals and snacks that works for you to keep your “furnace” stoked. And exercise too, to burn off the occasional whiskey sour or fried clams, or ice cream sundae.

Ok, I’m hungry. Gotta go.

The sad truth is when you’re a boomer you never know when something is going to go wrong with your body. With 40, 50, even 60 years of life behind you, things just happen. Aches and pains are just part of the midlife story. When pain does strike, or a headache lingers, when you just can’t figure out what’s wrong with you, do you ever check out health websites for the answers? If you do, which health websites do you find reliable?

Recently a friend of mine hurt his back reaching for a box of cereal on a top shelf. Somehow he had twisted the wrong way and within moments he was in absolute agony. We knew nothing was broken—it was just a bad sprain, but we were at a loss for how best to treat the pain. I immediately went to the Internet and did a quick search for back pain. There were more than 48 million entries!

We looked through some of the more credible sites based on well known names: Mayo Clinic, Boston Medical Center, and New England Baptist Hospital. They all had comprehensive sites with good advice but the one web site that had the easiest navigation and quickest answers for our particular need was WebMD.

It’s written in simple straightforward language so that even the lay person can follow along easily. True, it’s loaded with advertising, but still it offers answers quickly. For more in-depth answers, one of the other sites serves well. But for a quick answer to our immediate question, WebMD had the answers.

If you’ve found a great health website let us know. We really are interested.

Message to all you midlifers: Trying to do everything yourself? Sometimes it is smarter to call for help. Here are the two key elements in making that determination.

. . . . .

I just paid $140.00 to a local small engine repair company to repair my broken lawnmower. It had serious problems that I could not even begin to fathom. Mechanical things like engines, radios, clocks, vacuum cleaners, thermostats: how they work and how to repair them is beyond me. And I don’t care.

If I tried to repair the lawnmower it would have meant hours reading the manual, multiple trips to the local hardware store, broken fingernails, bruised knuckles and a lawnmower that still didn’t cut grass. I know my limits and recognize that although $140. sounds like a lot, it is small change when it comes to the time and frustration I would spend trying to fix the machine myself.

Knowing your limitations and how valuable is your time, are the two key elements in determining when it is time to call in an expert. It doesn’t matter if the issue is fixing a broken vacuum cleaner, managing your household, feeding your family, or developing a new website for your business.

You may think you can’t afford the assistance but the cost of not asking for help could be more than just money. Trying to fix and manage everything takes time: time you could be spending doing something else that you are really good at - that will increase your income. Continue Reading »

This article is by Yaro Starak, a professional blogger and my blog mentor. He is the leader of the Blog Mastermind mentoring program designed to teach bloggers how to earn a full time income blogging part time.

. . . . .

In every bloggers life comes a special day - the day they first launch a new blog. Now unless you went out and purchased someone else’s blog chances are your blog launched with only one very loyal reader - you. Maybe a few days later you received a few hits when you told your sister, father, girlfriend and best friend about your new blog but that’s about as far you went when it comes to finding readers.Here are the top 10 techniques new bloggers can use to find readers.

These are tips specifically for new bloggers, those people who have next-to-no audience at the moment and want to get the ball rolling. Continue Reading »

Reporter vs Expert - Why Most Bloggers Are Stuck Reporting

This article was by Yaro Starak, a professional blogger and my blog mentor. He is the leader of the Blog Mastermind mentoring program designed to teach bloggers how to earn a full time income blogging part time.

. . . . .

There are basically two types of bloggers in the world - reporters and experts - and some people perform both roles (usually the experts, it’s hard for reporters to become experts, but it’s easy for experts to report).

If you have ever taken an Internet marketing course or attended a seminar specifically for beginners, you have probably heard about the two different methodologies. Whenever the business model is based on content, and if you blog for money then the model is based on content, people are taught to either start as reporters, or if possible step up as experts.

I’ll be frank; you want to be the expert.

Reporters leverage the content of the experts and in most cases people start off as reporters because they haven’t established expertise. Experts enjoy the perks of preeminence, higher conversion rates because of perceived value, it’s easier to get publicity, people are more likely to seek you out rather than you having to seek others out, joint ventures come easier, etc? experts in most cases simply make more money and attract more attention.

Most Bloggers Are Reporters

The thing with expertise is that it requires something - experience. No person becomes an expert without doing things and learning. Bloggers usually start out without expertise and as a result begin their blogging journey by talking about everything going on in their niche (reporting) and by interviewing and talking about other experts (reporting again).

There’s nothing wrong with reporting of course and for many people it’s a necessity at first until you build up some expertise. Continue Reading »

Bethenny Frankel, star of The Real Housewives of New York City, celebrity natural food chef, and best-selling author of Naturally Thin, focuses on making healthy food taste great.

How many in midlife have struggled with diets that just don’t work? I still have a suit I bought when I was in my mid twenties. It hangs in my closet as a testimony to the size I once was, and the size I someday hope to be. But no matter the diet I have tried, nothing gets me any closer to my goal. I love all the wrong kinds of foods, and I enjoy a drink in the evening. Impossible obstacles to losing weight.

Bethenny Frankel has an alternative plan. There is a way to eat healthy without having to get deep into the calorie count, the weighing, the points, the cardboard meals that some food plans sell you at inflated prices. Our culture is so overwhelmed with bad food choices it’s hard to see the healthy alternatives without guidance. That’s what this book is all about. It teaches you how to make the right healthy choices and alternatives to unhealthy processed foods.

Recipes include  wonderfully tasteful vegetable dishes, grilled beef tenderloin, classic bolognese lasagna and the infamous Skinnygirl Margarita! <- watch Bethenny’s video!

The book is number 3 on the New York Times Bestseller List! She must be doing something right. Check it out!

Star Trek Returns!!!

- (the prequel) is now in a theatre near you! Read the full synopsis and watch the trailers here.

Back in 1966 when today’s midlife crowd: the baby boomer generation, were still in grammar school, Star Trek, the TV show took off across America’s TV screens. With Captain Kirk (William Shatner) at the helm and Spock (Leonard Nimoy) as his trusted officer, the star ship Enterprise began its five year mission “to boldly go where no man has gone before!” My sister was addicted. She thought Spock was cool and I’m sure she secretly lusted after those pointy ears. Unfortunately the original series only lasted three years, cancelled due to poor ratings. But the science-fiction crowd loved the show and the fans continued to be loyal followers of the re-runs when they could get them.

An animated version ran for two seasons in 1973 and 1974 and a full length motion picture was produced by Paramount in 1978: Star Trek: The Motion Picture, receiving mixed reviews. Finally TV execs realized that the fan base was never going to go away. In the intervening years three Star Trek movies: The Wrath of Khan, Search for Spock, and The Voyage Home, in addition to the original TV show reruns and innumerable conventions of “Trekkies,” had kept the fans coming back for more. In 1987 Patrick Steward took command as Jean-Luc Picard of the new star ship Enterprise-D in Star-Trek: The Next Generation. The show was a great success and three spin-offs (Deep Space Nine, Voyager and Enterprise) were developed to fill the airwaves with the ongoing adventures of Starfleet officers and crew. In the meantime seven additional full length feature films were produced for a total of ten movies.

This month the latest new full length motion picture Star Trek hits the theatres. And its going gang-busters. A prequel to the original TV series, it traces the early days of James T. Kirk long before he became a Starfleet Officer. Read the full synopsis and watch the trailers here.

Receiving 9 out of 10 stars, it’s getting full thumbs up from viewers and critics alike. Boomers Rejoice! The past is present. Spock lives! The star ship of our youth still flies in the face of disaster, danger and doom.

Get yourself to your local theatre. It’s one great film you don’t want to miss.

Three questions to consider before making that decision.

In the United States today, the options for paying for health care are numerous. For some, their workplace pays all the bills. (That’s a company I want to work for!) For most workers, health insurance costs are split between employer and employee. And for those who work on their own, or don’t have an employer, they foot the health bills themselves. If a person can’t afford health care, or chooses not to buy it, they use hospital emergency rooms as their first line of defense. (Note: the exception is the state of Massachusetts, where every citizen must have health insurance or pay a hefty penalty come tax time.)

Health insurance is fine for ordinary expenses. But what do you do if you or a member of your family has a debilitating illness that demands long-term care? For how long does ordinary health insurance pay your medical bills? Is it smart to buy a long-term health policy now when you and your family are healthy, just in case?

Here are three questions to ask before making a decision.
1. Does your family medical history suggest that you may be genetically disposed to developing a chronic illness such as diabetes or Alzheimers?
Sadly, there are indications that certain medical conditions are genetic or likely to be so. Alzheimers in particular, is still a mystery, but as our population ages, more of our citizens are being diagnosed with this affliction. Research suggests that some strains are genetic.
2. Do you have personal assets other than your primary home that need protection in the event your medical insurance is fully depleted?
Long-term care insurance will cover some of the expenses for home care, assisted living and/or nursing home bills. If you don’t have insurance, these bills are paid directly by you. A life time of savings can be totally depleted in just a matter of months.
3. Can you afford long-term care insurance?
This last question is personal (as if the others were not) and you need to consult your financial advisor and estate planner if you have one. Consider your current age, current assets, projected life expectancy, cost of monthly premiums and determine: is it worth it for me? What would happen if I didn’t have long-term care insurance? If I or one of my family got sick, could I afford to give them the care they need and deserve, and for how long?

If you decide to carry this insurance, I strongly urge you to shop around and compare policies. Check the details of the policy. Here are just a few:
•    What are the determining factors that you need before applying for benefits?
•    How long after these determining factors “kick in” do you have to wait before you receive your first payment?
•    Are there limits to the amount the insurance company will pay each day? Each month?
•    How are payments made: direct deposit to you? Or to the nursing facility?
•    Does the company have a support hot line if you need assistance?

Long-term care insurance is not an easy topic to discuss, but one we have to face. In the meantime, eat smart, exercise and be happy. That’s the best long term health insurance plan I know.

If you truly follow your heart’s desire, you can create your dream job! Too many midlifers settle for a job we don’t like, or at best, tolerate.  We spend our days living to work, rather than the other way around, working to live.

If you love what you do, the money and the success, will follow. Things have a way of falling into place when we are clear about what we really want. They did for Jeanne White, the host of The Connect Show on Radio Network Dreamvisions7 Flag Station, WBNW 1120 AM, Boston.

She writes in her biography on the show’s new website, (www.connectwithjeannewhite.com) “I have always harbored a dream to become a radio talk show host.”

Though her heart was focused on broadcasting, Jeanne’s initial career track was in a totally different direction. After earning a Bachelor’s degree from Simmons College, Boston, a paralegal certification from Aquinas College and a Frank J. Manning Gerontology Certificate from the University of Massachusetts, Boston, she became a certified Shine Counselor, working with the elderly population helping them make educated insurance decisions. As if that were not enough, she became a Certified Yoga Teacher through the Finding Inner Peace Yoga School—a far cry from radio talk show host.

But the dream couldn’t be shaken. Her focus on helping and networking with others to solve problems led her to become an advocate of The Starlight Children’s Foundation of New England, dedicated to bringing happiness, hope and an improved quality of life to seriously ill children and their families in Maine, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, New Hampshire and Vermont.

This commitment to helping others brought Jeanne to the attention of Candita Mamet, a regular host of the radio talk show, Healthy Living Guide.

Hearing that Jeanne had always had a longing for the radio talk show format, Candita raised the idea of Jeanne’s starting a new show. “Focus on the people chasing dreams and working at what they love.” Jeanne knew first hand how important it was to follow one’s heart’s desire and she agreed to try. With that, The Connect Show was born.

Today The Connect Show is part of the Dreamvisions7 Radio Network. Their mission: to be a holistic healing network with an eclectic group of radio hosts all with the common goal to help humankind by offering different modalities or programs combined with tools to bring awareness, joy, peace and ease to our listeners both in the local and global arena. The flagship station is WBNW 1120 AM, Boston, simulcast with WPLM 1390 AM & WESO 970 AM plus voice streaming on the Internet connecting Internationally.

On the second Saturday of the month, from 11 am - 12 noon, The Connect Show covers a wide range of topics ranging from business networking to current events. Jeanne shares the key purpose to her talk show: “My focus is to offer diverse, valuable and inspiring topics and resources. My goal with the show is to put people together….to make connections and provide networks and tools that will enhance people’s lives. My commitment is to network people with the objective of making their day to day lives a little easier and happier! As I say, ‘It’s all about connections! Get Connected!’”

There is nothing quite so disheartening than dragging your boomer body out of bed on a crisp cool morning, throwing on a t shirt and an old baggy pair of shorts, pulling on a mismatched pair of socks and beat up old sneakers and heading out for the gym, only to find yourself surrounded by 20-somethings in their sleek thong-leotards and cropped tops, looking super svelt next to your lumpy body.

It’s happened to me more than once. And the whole experience has had a negative impact on my self-esteem, and motivation to exercise. Well, enough of this. You may have a lumpy body, but that’s why you’re going to the gym in the first place: to get yourself in better shape. You want to feel good as well as look good. And the fitness center is the best place to start. Here are ten tips for choosing the right fitness clothing. You can look great at the gym.

Tip #1: Do not wear oversized t-shirts. You may think you are hiding those love handles, but wearing something that is too big for you will only make you look oversized. Continue Reading »

Summer is just around the corner here in the northeast and it’s time to shop for this seasons’s supply of sunblock. Today’s boomer generation foolishly spent their teenage summers on the beach or poolside, slathered in baby oil, seeking the perfect tan. Today, our skin is showing the results. And our dermatologists are warning us, if we don’t get the right skin protection there will be serious consequences.

No one wants to look older than they are. But skin, especially facial skin, can reveal your age faster than just about any other feature. You can call them “freckles” but when those brown age spots start to grow and pop… it’s time for some serious prevention.

• If the damage has already been done, you might find this online e-book helpful: Eight Years Younger: Turn Back Time By Implementing These Moisture-Infusing Techniques.

If you’re shopping for sun protection, I suggest you bypass the sunscreen and go directly to the sunblock. Sunscreen does what it says: it screens the harmful rays of the sun, but they still get through, no matter how high the number. What you want to do is BLOCK the sun’s damaging rays, and for that you need to get a product that contains ZINC, the best know blocker on the planet. Remember those lifeguards with their noses covered with white cream? The smart ones used zinc to protect their facial features. Without it, serious sun damage was inevitable. There are a number of products on the market to choose from. Here is the one I prefer.

Solbar Zinc- The Best Product Out There. Goes on light, gets absorbed quickly and feels soft and not sticky. Buy it online. Here is the Dermstore “blurb” about Solbar:

SOLBAR creates high sun protection factor (SPF) sunscreen products for dermatologists and their patients by Person & Covey, Inc., the company that pioneered development of products to protect skin from the harmful effects of UVB and UVA radiation. All Solbar products offer broad-spectrum protection with special appeal and benefits suited to an individual’s type of skin and exposure. Solbar was developed in response to dermatologists’ requests for therapeutic and cosmetic-quality products to protect patients with light or sun-damaged skin, people who live in sun-intensive areas, people who spend extended time in the sun, and those with photosensitization caused by medical conditions or medication.

Check them out at Dermstore. It’s a great product!

As a boomer moving through midlife you might be surprised one morning to find yourself staring in the mirror wondering “Who the heck is this person?”

For years I have washed my face, brushed my teeth, and put on makeup in front of the same mirror but I seldom looked closely. After all, I know who I am and what I look like. But this morning I took a really close look: skin that looks soft and smooth from a distance is beginning to show small wrinkles and they’re not laugh lines anymore. We’re talking tiny but permanent wrinkles! And where did that grey hair come from? I reach for my comb and “ouch!” a new twinge in my back tells me I’m not quite the same today as I was a few years ago.

It is happening to every boomer! Even if you are an exercise fanatic, those knees that always felt fine when you were running, are beginning to send you an occasional “pop!” to let you know that they are tired of beating down the pavement every day.

So what do you do? How do you cope with the occasional ache or pain?

First, of course, you don’t ignore it. Your body is sending you a signal: “TAKE CARE OF ME!” which only you can translate for your particular circumstance. Maybe you are doing too much! Hauling furniture around your apartment by yourself might not be a great idea or running that fast on the treadmill at the gym, might be entering “overload.” So take it easy!

Maybe the signal your body is sending you is the total opposite: Maybe you aren’t doing enough. You sit at your desk all day, working at the computer (which can really send your shoulders and wrists into spasms once in a while) and then you drive home in a car with an old front seat that no longer supports your increasingly large bottom, you make dinner, or worse, you eat at the local fast food, finally get home and flop in front of the TV for three hours before heading to bed to rest up for another day of slogging along. Your body aches because you don’t use it well enough.

Only you know why your body aches. Yes, there are aspirins to take and aching muscle salves to rub in when you’ve gone over board (or “under board” as the case may be)— but better than that is prevention: a balanced approach to taking care of this body that has served you well for the first half of your life. You want it to last for the second half. Pay attention! Give your body a balanced diet, exercise and relaxation and it will repay you tenfold.

No matter what body size you were as a younger person, midlife promises to pack on the pounds. One thing that’s guaranteed: we change as we age!

How to get back in shape? Stay in shape?

Secret One: Whatever your workout, focus not on quantity but quality. You can go to the gym, get on a treadmill, walk for an hour at an easy pace and never loose an ounce. You need to get your heart rate up to get the most out of your workout. Your target should be between 70 - 85% of your maximum heart rate… and keep it there for 30 minutes! Example: for a 50 year old your target should be between 119-145 (70-85% of max heart rate.) A lot of cardio equipment has the target rates built into the controls. Just enter your age and weight and the machine gives you the target you should aim for.

Secret Two: Exercise to work those muscles you use everyday: especially the core muscles: abdomen and lower back so they remain strong. Keeping your core strong is essential to keep your balance and preventing injuries. Use a Bosu (half ball) when you lift weights. You strengthen your core, and your upper body at the same time.

Secret Three: If you want to maintain muscle mass, use less weight and increase the reps for each exercise. It’s far smarter to lift a 5 lb weight 60 times, then a 10 lb weight 30!

Secret Four: Focus on exercises that are better for joint health: walking, cycling or swimming are all good choices. Running and jogging are tough on your knees and ankles. Some people can run their entire lives, but most of us don’t need the unnecessary bone to bone crunch that only leads to injuries.

Secret Five: If you are happy with your weight and you are at a point of maintenance you will need to eliminate 100-200 calories a day from your diet. As you age your metabolism slows down. If at 50 you still eat like a twenty-year old you will absolutely gain weight! By eliminating calorie intake by a couple hundred calories each day you will offset the slow down in metabolism and maintain your weight - and do it without dieting. (Cut out that extra glass of wine at dinner, for example, and you’ve just cut back!)

And finally…

Secret Six: Quit smoking. This is no secret. You’ve heard it hundreds of times. Smoking is key to heart disease, diabetes and a host of horrible health problems. Besides, it makes you smell bad. It isn’t easy for some people to quit and they will puff till their dying day, which will be sooner than later.

If you’re a midlifer and you are ready to take your health and fitness seriously, try these simple secrets and you will see that boomer bulge begin to melt away.

There are lots of weight loss programs available on the net:
Discover Combat The Fat!
Fit Over 40!

Susan Boyle’s done it again. A fabulous performance on Britain’s Got Talent this past Saturday has propelled this woman from Scotland to the top of the popularity list for up and coming talent! Even with a bit of a shaky start, she delivered! — and is favored to win the whole enchilada. Just goes to show it’s never too late. If you have a dream, no matter your age, never give up. Go for it.

(Note: if the video does not appear below, click here to see the full video at YouTube.)

. . . . .

Exercise? Who has the time. Life is filled with so many responsibilities: work, family, children, grandchildren?! Boomers run around trying to get it all done just as fast as everyone else. But having entered the “midlife years” it’s even more important to exercise. The middle age body’s metabolism begins to slow down and if you want to keep in shape you have to take time to work on it.

I know — one more thing to pile on to all the others. But think of it this way: if keeping yourself healthy and fit becomes priority #1, then everything else you do—work, family, kids actually becomes easier because you have more energy. (It seems paradoxical but if you are really tired, the best way to get your energy back is not to sleep, but to exercise. Take a walk around the block before you hit the hay. You will actually sleep better.)

The big question is, “How do you find the time to exercise?” You know you should. You agree it’s the right thing to do to stay healthy and on top of your game. But how do you squeeze the exercise slot into your schedule? Here are a few tips that might help.

1. Be realistic. Look at your calendar and your current time commitments and find a time where there may be flexibility. You might not find an hour, but you might find fifteen minutes at lunchtime. Use that for a short walk. Find short periods of time in your day and use those effectively. If you are shopping, park at a distance from the store’s front door and get a brisk walk in. Take the stairs rather than the elevator.

2. Get up a half hour earlier. This may or may not be possible, but it’s worth considering.

3. Lay out your exercise clothes the night before. If you have a hard time getting motivated for exercise in the early morning, arrange your shoes, socks, shorts and shirt on a chair and set it between your bed and the door. You’ll have to walk by them to get to the bathroom. Might be just the “nudge” you need.

4. If you can’t make it to the gym, consider some of these simple exercises mentioned in these great articles.

• Stretching Exercises you can do at your desk
• Five Quick Exercises you can do in no time
• Isometric Moves for the workplace

Keeping yourself healthy is worth the effort. If it’s a priority, you will find the time. Make it so and you will be the better and stronger for it.

I subscribe to a number of daily newsletters. One from this morning dealt with an issue many boomers are facing today. When is it time to take the car keys away from your elderly parent?

The writer of the article described his father as having dementia and being very difficult to deal with. The older man insisted on continuing to drive his car despite some serious accidents. “He’s a terrible driver, and I know he’s going to hurt himself and probably someone else. What can I do to get him off the road?”

As our parents grow older, occasional memory lapses are natural, but dementia is a very serious medical condition that impairs a person’s judgment. If you know that your parent is in danger of hurting themselves or others, you have no choice, you must take action.

In our family we’ve had to deal with this in a variety of ways. When my aunt of 82 went missing for an entire day because she had driven herself downtown and couldn’t find her way back, her son decided it was time to act. He wanted to treat her with respect and not dictate what she could or could not do. He tried to talk to her about it, leaving the decision to stop driving to her. But she stubbornly insisted she was fine. Knowing she would never stop unless her car was disabled, he quietly removed her car’s alternator. The next day when she went to start the car, the engine wouldn’t turn over. When she told her son about it, he put her off, saying he would get the car fixed, but of course he never did. Instead he volunteered to drive her whenever he could and arranged for the Senior Center Van to pick her up for her weekly shopping trips. Although she had lost some of her independence she was satisfied that she could still do her errands and visit her friends.

In my father’s case, we were very lucky. By the time he was in his early 80’s it was clear he should no longer be driving. One day he drove his buddies to their monthly church meeting and parked the car nearby. The car was stolen. Honest. We did not arrange the theft, but were grateful it had happened. No confrontation necessary. He decided a new car wasn’t worth the effort or money and let it all go.

In both these instances the elder parent finally came to peace with the decision not to drive. But if your parent’s driving is becoming of grave concern to you and they will not voluntarily stop taking the car, you may have to call your local motor vehicle department and report the problem. It’s not the easiest solution, but as an outside authority, they may be able to convince the older person to stop getting on the road.

You might find one of these articles helpful as well:
Taking the Keys Away
When Dad Should Stop Driving

Last night Susan Boyle gave her final performance on Britain’s Got Talent TV show. Dressed in a beautiful  blue floor-length gown, she repeated the song that stunned everyone “I Dreamed A Dream” from Les Miserables. The video wasn’t available on YouTube until this morning (see it below) but already more than half a million people had viewed it and by the time I finish this post the number will surely be several thousand higher.
(If the video does not appear, click here to view it at YouTube)

. . . . . .

. . . . .

Once again it was a great performance. She was self-assured and self confident, using more demonstrative gestures to deliver the song. The audience and all three judges gave her a standing ovation. But perhaps judge Piers Morgan said too much. He said that, without equivocation, she should win the contest. I could hear boos in the background from the competition’s fans. Perhaps it was just too much enthusiasm, and just what the other contestant’s fans needed to boost the votes. For when it all came down a few hours after the program was done and all the votes were counted, Susan Boyle came in — second. She lost to a dance group, Diversity. But as reported in The Los Angeles Times:

Susan Boyle proved a gracious loser today when the dance group Diversity won the top prize on “Britain’s Got Talent.”

“The best people won,” said Boyle. “They’re very entertaining. Lads, I wish you all the best.”
On this evening’s finale, the 48-year-old Scotswoman performed her best-known number, “I Dreamed a Dream” from “Les Miserables,” the song that carried her to fame on her first appearance on the show
It had been a rough week for Boyle leading up to the finals. She had a well-publicized shouting match with a group of journalists and was reportedly considering pulling out of the competition on account of nerves.
But she rebounded and delivered a performance tonight that was warmly welcomed by the audience.

It’s been a great ride for the woman from Scotland, and I’m sure she will be making a Christmas Album very shortly! We’ve not heard the last of Susan Boyle. The woman has courage, guts and a dream she still needs to fill: to sing before the Queen which I believe will indeed happen someday soon.

Every baby boomer I know has aches and pains. Lots of them.

It’s as if a magical switch clicks on when you hit midlife and your body suddenly decides to rebel. Things you did without any pain at all suddenly leave your joints crying for help. Five years ago you could be on your knees in the garden for hours without any problem. Now, try that, and the next day your joints ache all over. That bike ride or run in the morning used to leave you feeling refreshed. Now when you get back after a workout, you just collapse in a heap and reach for the aspirin. What is happening to your body?

As we age, our bodies change. The joints and muscles have been working for you for years. Fifty years, sixty years — a very long time. Think of your body in terms of a machine. It works efficiently for years, but it needs to be well maintained. A car without an oil change or lube job becomes a squeaky old clunker that barely gets you down the road. In the same way, our joints need lubrication. As we age the cartilage, the cushion between our bones begins to thin and dry out. It can get so thin that eventually there is nothing at all between the bones. — You don’t want to know how painful that can be.

How do you prevent this “drying out” of the cartilage and maintain a healthy moist cushion between your bones? Continue Reading »

Golf is one of the best exercises for the midlife boomer.

As a boomer, you may feel that your days as an athlete are behind you. But one of the best ways to continue being involved in sports is by taking up the game of golf. This is one activity that can be enjoyed long into your retirement years. It offers the opportunity to get out in the open air, meet and socialize with like minded people, and keep your body flexible and strong.

How to begin?

First, talk to your friends who play golf and ask where they play. Inquire if there are instructors available or a golf clinic you could join. When I first considered learning to play I found a nearby golf club that had an early morning clinic. Each week we were given a short simple instruction for one aspect of the game and then sent out on the back nine holes of the course to play. It was a method of instant immersion which was a bit terrifying, but those of us who really wanted to learn kept at it, each week building one lesson at a time to learn the basics.

Another method is to join a friend at the driving range. Borrow some clubs, buy a bucket of balls, and ask for a little friendly guidance.

If you are still interested, I strongly recommend taking a lesson or two from the local pro. And ask their advice in purchasing your own set of clubs. Until you are sure you want to continue it might be wise to buy a “generic” set from a sporting goods shop, or clubs from a store that sells “gently used” sports equipment.

There is some debate about this question. Golf clubs are expensive. If you do buy clubs that are not just right for you (the wrong length or a shaft that doesn’t fit your swing style) you may find you never improve. But if you are serious about the game and can see yourself playing for years to come, then ask the golf pro to fit you for clubs. They will observe your swing, and overall posture and recommend a set that works with your particular style of play.

One thing you don’t want to do is buy a mixed set of clubs, (i.e. a driver from one manufacturer, woods from another, two irons from a third, the sand wedge from a fourth, etc. etc.) You will end up with a mish mash of miss matched clubs that are of different weights and shafts, each performing in a sightly different way. Your game will always be inconsistent because your clubs are inconsistent. The best way to purchase clubs, especially when it comes to irons, is to buy them all from the same manufacturer so that the shaft, weight and balance of each club matches all the others. Each club has a different loft and is used to accomplish a different task, but they all perform in a similar way. This goes a long way to bringing consistency to your game.

Once you have your clubs, the final step is to get out there and practice, practice, practice. With a little confidence you can soon join a foursome and really begin to enjoy the game.